Any good jokes ... ?

[glenn forger]

My mate runs a pet shop. He's got a sign in the window saying "Skunk for sale" so the cops leave him alone and he's shifting four kilos a week.

 

[Moon bunny]

A man who lives in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

 

[TwickenhamCyclist]

A girl in between two goalposts?
Annette

 

[TwickenhamCyclist]

I was talking to my neighbor earlier. He confided he’s just found out his wife is having an affair with our local milkman.
I said, "What? That fat ugly f**ker I see every morning outside your house?"
"Yes," he said, cheering up a bit.
I said "Why would the milkman want to shag that?"

 

[Poacher]

A man with a 2" dick?
Justin.

A man with a 1" dick?
Tintin.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

What do you call a man with a number plate on his head?
Reg.

What do you call his brother?
R Reg.

 

[TwickenhamCyclist]

A man with no arms or legs in a swimming pool?
Bob

A man with no arms or legs in a swimming pool swimming lengths?
Clever dick...

 

[RichardB]

A man with a spade in his head?

Doug.

A man without a spade in his head?

Douglas.

 

[Electric_Andy]

A man with an american latrine on his head?
John

A girl who's very good at keeping secrets?
Chantelle

 

[OskarTennisChampion]

A man with a seagull on his head.
Cliff

 

[swee'pea99]

A man with a tree on his head?

Edward.

 

[swee'pea99]

A man with three trees on his head?

Edward Woodward.

 

[swee'pea99]

A man with four trees on his head?

 

[Ron-da-Valli]

A man with a spear on his head?
Lance
A man with ten spears on his head?
Lancelot

 

[Moon bunny]

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Dunap,
Dunap who?
I hope you wiped and washed.