Any good jokes ... ?

[morrisman]

I met a guy who told me that I could get rich by giving people the thumbs up and saying, “Heyyyy!”
Turns out it was a Fonzie scheme.

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[PeteXXX]

I did work experience at the Post Office, when i was at school.
I was really too young for the job. We would sit in the sorting office, listening to the radio, putting the parcels in order.
Every time the music stopped, I would open one!

 

[PeteXXX]

Would the makers of Avocados please think of including new toys..
I already have 59 wooden balls!

 

[postman]

I have just worked out,that I never got a booking during my teenage years and all of my twenties.Which was great when I played football but I was a DJ.

 

[tyred]

I did work experience at the Post Office, when i was at school.
I was really too young for the job. We would sit in the sorting office, listening to the radio, putting the parcels in order.
Every time the music stopped, I would open one!

Did you find any with cheques included?

 

[Toshiba Boy]

I did work experience at the Post Office, when i was at school.
I was really too young for the job. We would sit in the sorting office, listening to the radio, putting the parcels in order.
Every time the music stopped, I would open one!

I had a mate who did the same.

When he opened the parcel, it was a load of spaghetti.

He loved playing pass the pasta.

 

[craigwend]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Cavalol]

I thought I'd found the first British super hero this afternoon when I saw a man wearing a cape running down the road in Liverpool.

Turns out he hadn't paid for his hair cut.

 

[tyred]

 

[morrisman]

I am being chased down the street by a cardiologist with a scalpel. He’s a man after my own heart

 

[Dave7]

A very cute little 4 year old girl goes into a pet shop and with her big blue eyes wide open asks the owner...."excuse me but do you sell little bunny rabbits".
The owner kneels down to her level and says "we have this cute little white one, or a really cuddly black one and a really friendly brown one".
The little girl smiles and says "I don't think my pet python could give a sh*t what colour it is".

 

[tyred]

 

[Andy in Germany]

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That or they starched the ropes again.