Gwylan
Veteran
- Location
- All at sea⛵
How does she know what size you need?
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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How does she know what size you need?
Profpointy
Legendary Member
That is really baaa'd
Ahem ! Illustrative purpurses only you understand.
Were ewe not amused?
You'll get lambasted for that one!
Feeling a bit sheepish now
bonzobanana
Guru
Yes, I always get hungry when I see both Apple and Turnover reported in business news.
Profpointy
Legendary Member
That's quite clever and would work OK if you drove with care😳
As an aside, I heard a story, supposedly true, concerning a motor mechanic friend of a friend. He'd been asked to help out someone he knew who'd lost the brakes after a real wheel cylinder seal had failed. As a get-you-home bodge he disconnected the brake pipe and bashed it flat and / or folded it over so it would hold pressure, and refilled with fluid leaving only the front brakes working giving strict instructions to carefully drive it home / to the garage (only) and get it fixed properly. He met the car owner a little while later who thanked him profusely for the help and to the horror of the mechanic said he'd managed to sell the car as it was !
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Electric_Andy
Heavy Metal Fan
- Location
- Plymouth
Wife: I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis.
Husband: That's 15 love
Husband: That's 15 love
flopner
Well-Known Member
A blonde wanted to try out ice fishing. She went out and purchased all the gear she would need and headed to a local spot to try to catch some fish.
She went out onto the ice with her gear and after getting comfy on the stool, she started to cut a circular hole in the ice as she had seen on the internet. As she was cutting, she heard a voice from the heavens speak out, saying, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The blonde was startled. She stood up and looked around but saw no one. Cautiously, she moved a little further out onto the ice and set up in a different spot. She sipped some hot chocolate from her thermos and then started cutting another hole. Again, the voice called out, seemingly from all around her.
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Now feeling quite scared and starting to get a bit frustrated, she moved all the way to the far end of the ice and laid out all her gear, sat upon her stool and started cutting another hole. Right away, the heavenly voice boomed out, this time louder than ever, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!".
She jumped off her stool and looked all around her. She shouted to the heavens, "IS THAT YOU, LORD?"
The voice answered, "NO. THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE SKATING RINK. THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She went out onto the ice with her gear and after getting comfy on the stool, she started to cut a circular hole in the ice as she had seen on the internet. As she was cutting, she heard a voice from the heavens speak out, saying, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The blonde was startled. She stood up and looked around but saw no one. Cautiously, she moved a little further out onto the ice and set up in a different spot. She sipped some hot chocolate from her thermos and then started cutting another hole. Again, the voice called out, seemingly from all around her.
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Now feeling quite scared and starting to get a bit frustrated, she moved all the way to the far end of the ice and laid out all her gear, sat upon her stool and started cutting another hole. Right away, the heavenly voice boomed out, this time louder than ever, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!".
She jumped off her stool and looked all around her. She shouted to the heavens, "IS THAT YOU, LORD?"
The voice answered, "NO. THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE SKATING RINK. THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
FishFright
More wheels than sense
Only recently gone off sale and still had some morphine in it
