Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[Bazzer]

Fully agree....I always had a pony.
Never carried 2×12s though.
Tell me, did you ever dive Dorathea quarry in North Wales ?
It dropped to a staggering 120 mtrs and it was very cold.
I think it averaged over one death per year.

Too many people did not take Dorothea seriously. It ranges from cold to very cold, it gets dark very quickly depending upon where it is dived and a substantial part of the quarry has vertical drop offs where a diver's depth can easily double or triple. There were photographs in a local pub of the quarry when it was working, some of which are now online, which show the profiles of the rock faces.

 

[Dave7]

Too many people did not take Dorothea seriously. It ranges from cold to very cold, it gets dark very quickly depending upon where it is dived and a substantial part of the quarry has vertical drop offs where a diver's depth can easily double or triple. There were photographs in a local pub of the quarry when it was working, some of which are now online, which show the profiles of the rock faces.

I recall the 1st time I dived it....it was my 1st experience of hitting a thermoclyme.....it gave me a real shock.

 

[Chislenko]

I recall the 1st time I dived it....it was my 1st experience of hitting a thermoclyme.....it gave me a real shock.

I am struggling to see the punch line in these jokes.

 

[Sterlo]

I am struggling to see the punch line in these jokes.

I know there are some bad ones on here but this is diving to new depths

 

[Dave7]

I am struggling to see the punch line in these jokes.

You are correct. My bad, I shall cease immediately.

 

[Profpointy]

I am struggling to see the punch line in these jokes.

Well, to bring it back on topic

"why do divers roll backwards into the water from their boat?"
"if they rolled forwards they'd still be in the boat"

 

[Andy in Germany]

You are correct. My bad, I shall cease immediately.

Be honest, you just wanted the oxygen of publicity.

 

[Dave7]

This woman (she might be blonde) arrives at the Doctors for her appointment.
Doctor says "you look exhausted, why is that?"
Woman says "it was only yesterday that your receptionist phoned to tell me I had a blood test today. I have been up all night revising".

 

[Profpointy]

This woman (she might be blonde) arrives at the Doctors for her appointment.
Doctor says "you look exhausted, why is that?"
Woman says "it was only yesterday that your receptionist phoned to tell me I had a blood test today. I have been up all night revising".

In a similar vein a true story. We'd been staying with friends in Dublin and later in the day it was mentioned that the other housemates would be back later after their drugs trial. We all assumed they'd been busted for smoking weed or whatever, but it turns out they were volunteers for a respectable medical experiment

 

[oldfatfool]

There was this snail who was tired of being so slow and so he bought an expensive sports car. He painted a large Letter S on the door.
When got more confident he entered a motor race and was doing so well that the commentator said" look at that S car go!

Boom tish!

Eddie Murphy, Trading Places, 1983

 

[Cavalol]

To the person who stole my place in the queue.

I'm after you now!

 

[tyred]

I've found a new Smart watch which tells me the information I need to know.

 

[Regular.Cyclist]

I've found a new Smart watch which tells me the information I need to know.

View attachment 712703

I have a plugin on the Safari browser called Sauce for Strava that shows me activity to beers data among other things. It’s customisable and can show glasses of wine, slice on pizza or many other things instead.

This would be quite a heavy post run session 😂

 

[srj10]