Any good jokes ... ?

[Richard A Thackeray]

One of my fellow managers used to joke "You're smiling. That's stealing from the company". To give some context we had a pretty happy and able team so it was said in fun.

The other gag we had was "beatings will continue until morale improves" when the HR mandated morale survey went on. We did have to remind everyone that if we scored badly, IT folk being naturally prone to moaning, it would cause us managers a lot of hassle and no doubt they'd all be subject to HR sponsored jollity and improvement plans which none of us actually wanted. Fair enough real gripes, but keep a sense of proportion guys!

We always reckon we have a 'Morale Officer' to make sure there is none, whose job is to penalise anyone smiling, or laughing
(as do Bullshire Police)

 

[richardfm]

We always reckon we have a 'Morale Officer' to make sure there is none, whose job is to penalise anyone smiling, or laughing
(as do Bullshire Police)

View attachment 705321

As one of my teachers used to say, and I would repeat occasionally at work, "you're here to work, not to enjoy yourself".

 

[tyred]

 

[Nibor]

View attachment 705351

men's imagination has no limits

 

[Andy in Germany]

We always reckon we have a 'Morale Officer' to make sure there is none, whose job is to penalise anyone smiling, or laughing
(as do Bullshire Police)

View attachment 705321

I'd love to translate this but I think it'd probably need a Din A3 page to fit it on in German.

And it would still be 50% less words.

I have occasionally suggested that people are having far too much fun in our warehouse. Usually I get away before anyone throws anything...

 

[newts]

 

[tyred]

men's imagination has no limits

I was wondering what that said. Thank you.

 

[tyred]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Cavalol]

My grandfather told me about the time he once had a game of whist with Louis Armstrong.

No matter what card he played, Louis would trumpet.

 

[tyred]

 

[Cavalol]

This hotel mini bar is rubbish!

All the little booze bottles taste like shampoo.

 

[PeteXXX]

Just received news of a gang caught breaking windows with steamed Chinese dumplings.

Police described it as an act of 'Wonton destruction'.

🥢 👮 🥢

 

[tyred]

 

[markemark]

There should be a special place in hell for the people that write 'witty' notes on chalkboards outside coffee shops and pubs.