Any good jokes ... ?

[srj10]

My attempts to learn the waltz are not going very well I feel as though I am taking two steps forward and one step back.

 

[tyred]

 

[Cavalol]

My nickname at school was scarface.
I was really good at knitting.

 

[Chris S]

 

[tyred]

 

[Jameshow]

View attachment 705129

Has anyone see the football stadium where the fans exit under a terrace house? If so which one?

 

[Regular.Cyclist]

Has anyone see the football stadium where the fans exit under a terrace house? If so which one?

Luton Town’s Oak Stand

 

[Andy in Germany]

View attachment 705129

Reminds me of the farmer in our village who breeds rare chickens. Over time apartments have been built around the farm, and their residents are now complaining loudly about the cockrels waking them up. Apparently even the mayor went to talk with the farmer about it, whereupon the farmer pointed out the obvious...

 

[T4tomo]

Luton Town’s Oak Stand

 

[tyred]

 

[Profpointy]

View attachment 705145

One of my fellow managers used to joke "You're smiling. That's stealing from the company". To give some context we had a pretty happy and able team so it was said in fun.

The other gag we had was "beatings will continue until morale improves" when the HR mandated morale survey went on. We did have to remind everyone that if we scored badly, IT folk being naturally prone to moaning, it would cause us managers a lot of hassle and no doubt they'd all be subject to HR sponsored jollity and improvement plans which none of us actually wanted. Fair enough real gripes, but keep a sense of proportion guys!

 

[Cavalol]

Bruce Lee's daughter Simone now makes a living selling mobile phone contracts.

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[Profpointy]

Bruce Lee's daughter Simone now makes a living selling mobile phone contracts.

I had to read it twice, and I was in the phone business too

 

[Toshiba Boy]