Any good jokes ... ?

[Jameshow]

View attachment 683562

Tell me about it!!

 

[Chris S]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[ClichéGuevara]

 

[Jenkins]

View attachment 683591

It needs a slight whirring sound in the background first, but I so want that at my funeral!

 

[NorthernDave]

I'm reading a book on French history avoiding the years 1789-1799.....nothing revolutionary

 

[flopner]

 

[Dave7]

I was teasing the cat with string, poor thing fell off the bridge into the river, a German tourist dived in and rescued him for me.

He brought the cat back to me and said "take him home, keep him warm"

I said "thanks are you a vet ?"

He said "vet . . . . I'm f*cking soaking"

 

[tyred]

 

[srj10]

Asked a girl out for a date today and she said no because I had a face like a boat. I didn't reply, just gave her a stern look.

 

[Chris S]

 

[siadwell]

Asked a girl out for a date today and she said no because I had a face like a boat. I didn't reply, just gave her a stern look.

Reminds me of a Gary Delany joke I saw today... "When I was a lad in the 80s, my nickname was Drugs. When I asked a girl out, she'd just say no."

 

[JtB]

Asked a girl out for a date today and she said no because I had a face like a boat. I didn't reply, just gave her a stern look.

… and a slight bow before leaving.

 

[flopner]

You can do anything if you put your mind to it!!

 

[ClichéGuevara]