Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[morrisman]

It really annoys me how people nowadays are always moaning on about how it was so much better in the old days. No body ever complained in my days.

 

[Cavalol]

My friend has a strange, solitary hobby making himself models of Wiltshire market towns.
That said, he’s quite happy being left to his own Devizes.

 

[morrisman]

My friend has a strange, solitary hobby making himself models of Wiltshire market towns.
That said, he’s quite happy being left to his own Devizes.

I also do that from chunks of wood, I like Chippenham away

 

[NorthernDave]

Doctor, help - my friend's windpipe is blocked by a Quality Street chocolate!

The purple one?

Yes, that's him.

 

[MichaelW2]

My wife has forbidden me from making any more breakfast puns. If I do, I'm toast.

 

[Cavalol]

Do you remember when you were a kid? You could go to the shops with a quid and come back with crisps, chocolate, cans of pop, sweets and still have change. Now there are cameras everywhere.

 

[Dave7]

I had to take the airline to court as my luggage went missing........I lost .
I lost my case.

 

[Dave7]

So this young girl with a short skirt is in church.
She is not wearing any pants.
Walking up the stairs the vicar notices and calls her to him. He says "my child, I notice you cannot afford any panties. Take this £30 and buy yourself some".
She rushes home and tells her Mum who immediately whips her knickers off and goes to the church.
Again the vicar notices and calls her over.
He says "here is one pound. For gods sake get yourself a razor".

 

[PeteXXX]

A horse was having a pint with a donkey. The horse boasted, 'I've won the Derby, the Oaks, the St. Ledger, the Grand National and the Gold Cup!'
The donkey says, 'That's nothing' and shows the horse a picture of a zebra on his mobile phone.
'Who's that?' says the horse.
The donkey says, 'That's me when I played for Juventus.'

🦓

 

[FishFright]

A horse was having a pint with a donkey. The horse boasted, 'I've won the Derby, the Oaks, the St. Ledger, the Grand National and the Gold Cup!'
The donkey says, 'That's nothing' and shows the horse a picture of a zebra on his mobile phone.
'Who's that?' says the horse.
The donkey says, 'That's me when I played for Juventus.'

🦓

 

[tyred]

 

[Chris S]

 

[tyred]

 

[PeteXXX]