Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[Seevio]

RPGs are all "you do not meet the level requirements to equip this." In real life, the only thing stopping me wielding this halberd is an extremely agitated looking museum guide, and I'm pretty sure I can take her.

 

[Chris S]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Profpointy]

View attachment 676004

A pal of mine had an interview years ago, and the boss, evidently a bit like CJ from Reggie Perrin asked "I don't like 'yes men'; you're not a 'yes man' are you?" Slightly non-plussed he gave the only reasonable answer "No, certainly not", which seemingly satisfied the guy. A rather bizarre exchange

 

[oldwheels]

A pal of mine had an interview years ago, and the boss, evidently a bit like CJ from Reggie Perrin asked "I don't like 'yes men'; you're not a 'yes man' are you?" Slightly non-plussed he gave the only reasonable answer "No, certainly not", which seemingly satisfied the guy. A rather bizarre exchange

It does happen. I got a job because I gave the Managing Director a very terse answer before I knew who he was. He decided on the spot that being an awkward sod was ideal for the job. We got on well as I stood up to him and was not a yes man.

 

[Smokin Joe]

IME the one thing "I don't like yes men" types hate is when you disagree with them.

 

[morrisman]

We don’t know how lucky we are to have the job we have. We had a guy decorating the house for the last three days, I got chatting to him and it turns out he’s a Ryanair pilot. He’s decorating now to try and pay his mortgage, sad times but in fairness he did a great job on the landing.

 

[Cavalol]

Went to a restaurant last night, the waiter said "For starters there's badger soup, followed by roast badger and finishing with badger mousse”
Is there anything else apart from badger?" I asked.
“No", he replied. "It's a sett menu."

 

[mistyoptic]

Went to a restaurant last night, the waiter said "For starters there's badger soup, followed by roast badger and finishing with badger mousse”
Is there anything else apart from badger?" I asked.
“No", he replied. "It's a sett menu."

🧥
🚪➡️

 

[tyred]

 

[Ming the Merciless]

We don’t know how lucky we are to have the job we have. We had a guy decorating the house for the last three days, I got chatting to him and it turns out he’s a Ryanair pilot. He’s decorating now to try and pay his mortgage, sad times but in fairness he did a great job on the landing.

Did his other job involve taxi ing?

 

[Andy in Germany]

We don’t know how lucky we are to have the job we have. We had a guy decorating the house for the last three days, I got chatting to him and it turns out he’s a Ryanair pilot. He’s decorating now to try and pay his mortgage, sad times but in fairness he did a great job on the landing.

I expect the quote was 99p plus a fee for the brush, Excess paint allowance, Extra for masking tape, and a pound every time he used the privy.

 

[Profpointy]

IME the one thing "I don't like yes men" types hate is when you disagree with them.

Similar story with people who "tell it like it is". They're generally not at all keen on being disagreed with, or corrected themselves, never mind "being told like it is" by someone else

 

[morrisman]

My dad’s sister made this weird snake-like sound when she took her anti-allergy medication. Aunty hissed, I mean