Any good jokes ... ?

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Profpointy

Legendary Member
My wife wants a talking parrot for Christmas. I can't afford one so I'm getting the next best thing, a woodpecker that knows Morse code.

not a joke, but I remember reading an entry in Exchange and Mart back in the day.

"Wanted: talking parrot. Good price paid or exchange for pair of breeding pythons".

It looked like some ridiculous coded message like in that Alistair Sim comedy, but who knows? Stuck in my mind as the most curious advert I'd ever seen
 

Cavalol

Legendary Member
Location
Chester
Why would the kipper stall not talk to the other stalls on the market?
Because it was being stand of fish.
 
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Cavalol

Legendary Member
Location
Chester
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the wife that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
So she went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover.
At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
She said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."
So she replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist said, "Well, stay off your bicycle for at least a week."
 

tyred

Legendary Member
Location
Ireland
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postman

Squire
Location
,Leeds
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the wife that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
So she went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover.
At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
She said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."
So she replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist said, "Well, stay off your bicycle for at least a week."
Postmans wife has returned from the chemist with medication for his sudden hearing loss,Postman will not be cycling for two weeks.
 
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