Any good jokes ... ?

[PeteXXX]

 

[newfhouse]

 

[tyred]

 

[roadrash]

 

[DRM]

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it's todays bush tucker trial! Ant & Dec have a lot to answer for

 

[Profpointy]

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You may jest but a pal of mine wanted let's say 12m of plastic conduit for whatever job he was. designing, and duly filled in a chiti. A while later someone came to say his stuff had arrived so he said "stick it down there under my desk", and the baffled guy said "you're 'avin a laugh, there's a truck load of it" He went down and sure enough a truck load, and two more trucks waiting for space. It turned out he'd ordered 12 "lots" rather than metres and a "lot" was a large bundle of long lengths of the stuff. Apparently it was all used up eventually over a number of years. One reason he didn't spot it was that he'd order from a part number book but didn't have sight of the prices, so he'd not spotted that couple of thousand quid was a bit steep, but was within his budget.

Different guy at the same place had accidentally ordered 7m of 200 core cable rather than 200m of 7 core. The suppliers had made it as a special order a d even had to make an extra large drum to wind it onto as it was the thickness of an elephant's trunk. Being only 7m long it was no use at all even if there'd been a subsequent need for 200 core cable.
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[Chris S]

View attachment 668977

That looks photo shopped. The text at the top and bottom of the tin curves round but the text in the middle is flat.

 

[Chris S]

You may jest but a pal of mine wanted let's say 12m of plastic conduit for whatever job he was. designing, and duly filled in a chiti. A while later someone came to say his stuff had arrived so he said "stick it down there under my desk", and the baffled guy said "you're 'avin a laugh, there's a truck load of it" He went down and sure enough a truck load, and two more trucks waiting for space. It turned out he'd ordered 12 "lots" rather than metres and a "lot" was a large bundle of long lengths of the stuff. Apparently it was all used up eventually over a number of years. One reason he didn't spot it was that he'd order from a part number book but didn't have sight of the prices, so he'd not spotted that couple of thousand quid was a bit steep, but was within his budget.

Different guy at the same place had accidentally ordered 7m of 200 core cable rather than 200m of 7 core. The suppliers had made it as a special order a d even had to make an extra large drum to wind it onto as it was the thickness of an elephant's trunk. Being only 7m long it was no use at all even if there'd been a subsequent need for 200 core cable.
.

 

[tyred]

You may jest but a pal of mine wanted let's say 12m of plastic conduit for whatever job he was. designing, and duly filled in a chiti. A while later someone came to say his stuff had arrived so he said "stick it down there under my desk", and the baffled guy said "you're 'avin a laugh, there's a truck load of it" He went down and sure enough a truck load, and two more trucks waiting for space. It turned out he'd ordered 12 "lots" rather than metres and a "lot" was a large bundle of long lengths of the stuff. Apparently it was all used up eventually over a number of years. One reason he didn't spot it was that he'd order from a part number book but didn't have sight of the prices, so he'd not spotted that couple of thousand quid was a bit steep, but was within his budget.

Different guy at the same place had accidentally ordered 7m of 200 core cable rather than 200m of 7 core. The suppliers had made it as a special order a d even had to make an extra large drum to wind it onto as it was the thickness of an elephant's trunk. Being only 7m long it was no use at all even if there'd been a subsequent need for 200 core cable.
.

My brother works in steel construction and a guy he used to work to used to go out and measure sites and add up feet and inches as if they were to the base ten so something like 12'8" + 4'6" was 17'4"....

This caused many mistakes until everyone who worked there learned to throw any measurements or plans from the boss in the bin and go and check it out themselves.

 

[Jameshow]

My brother works in steel construction and a guy he used to work to used to go out and measure sites and add up feet and inches as if they were to the base ten so something like 12'8" + 4'6" was 17'4"....

This caused many mistakes until everyone who worked there learned to throw any measurements or plans from the boss in the bin and go and check it out themselves.

We had a lovely chap with learning difficulties who came to our men's shed...

One week a tape measure lost its tip and half an inch of tape.

So he took it away drilled the rivets and epoxied the tip back on....

I started making mistakes with it, nothing was measuring up! All were 1/2 too small. Until I realised he had shorted the tape!!

Bless him he said one day if we don't do any woodworking I'm going home!

He was gone the next morning.....

 

[Profpointy]

My brother works in steel construction and a guy he used to work to used to go out and measure sites and add up feet and inches as if they were to the base ten so something like 12'8" + 4'6" was 17'4"....

This caused many mistakes until everyone who worked there learned to throw any measurements or plans from the boss in the bin and go and check it out themselves.

I have heard of a surveyor's tape in feet with decimals rather than inches ie it'd read 7.9 feet not 7' 9". That caused a few problems

Another catch are "expansion rules" (I think that's the term) used by patternmakers. They were marked in inches (or mm) and used for making the wood patterns for mouldmaking for casting metal. There were different ones for brass, iron, aluminium etc, with due allowance for the cooling down of molten metal as it solidified, so the numbers were slightly oversized for wooden pattern needed to mould the sand for casting metal which would cool to
match the desired size. If you used them for normal woodwork everything would be a bit bigger than you were expecting - which would cause a problem if the other part had been measured with a normal rule.

 

[Dave7]

I used to work with a guy that would always cross metric with imperial. He would often say eg 2 metres by 3 foot 5 inches.

 

[newfhouse]

 

[Profpointy]

I used to work with a guy that would always cross metric with imperial. He would often say eg 2 metres by 3 foot 5 inches.

Car Tyres are usually like that

 

[tyred]