Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

Just joined the local dyslexia brass band.

I play the Toblerone.

 

[morrisman]

Glasgow Airport is considering building a housing estate for their air staff.
At the moment it’s just a pilot scheme

 

[postman]

I used one of the machines in the gym today.I lasted 30 mins till I felt too sick to continue.But I managed a mars bar,twix,Cadbury dairy milk a galaxy and a packet of crisps.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I used one of the machines in the gym today.I lasted 30 mins till I felt too sick to continue.But I managed a mars bar,twix,Cadbury dairy milk a galaxy and a packet of crisps.

Sadly not a record

 

[Andy in Germany]

Moved to the correct thread...

Says it all...

 

[srj10]

A man has been admitted to hospital with six toy horses inserted up his bum. Doctors say he is in a stable condition.

 

[postman]

A man has been admitted to hospital with six toy horses inserted up his bum. Doctors say he is in a stable condition.

Names not Wilkes by any chance is it,nay nay Mr Wilkes.

 

[postman]

My neighbours young son swallowed ten 50p pieces.Asked how is condition was he replied no change.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

My neighbours young son swallowed ten 50p pieces.Asked how is condition was he replied no change.

Yep - those new 50p's are much harder to shift now there are such big sticky out ears involved.

 

[craigwend]

 

[craigwend]

 

[newts]

 

[Nibor]

Lol

 

[Cavalol]

Saw a crap mind reader today.
Mind reader: Think of a card, any card.
Me: OK
Mind reader: Visualise it in your mind.
Me: OK
Mind reader: Is it the nine of clubs?
Me: No
Mind reader: Ace of spades?
Me: No
Mind reader: What is it then?
Me: 'Condolences on your loss'

 

[postman]

Lol

You have my sympathies I also have an Amazon firetablet which changes any word when it likes even when correctly spelled.It's utter crap,mine is going Xmas day I have a Chromebook on Santa's Sleigh.