NorthernDave
Never used Über Member
- Location
- The real Northern Powerhouse
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent.
Because the "P" is silent.
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
T4tomo
Legendary Member
I hear if you do a week here you can get a free weekend in a country house near Princes Risborough!
Mercy buttercups
ExBrit
Über Member
- Location
- Southern California
A fundamentalist Christian minister died and went to heaven (it had to happen eventually)
He gets to the entrance and the angel in charge says "We've been waiting for one of your lot to show up, God wants a chat"
So he is shown into a room where God has manifested.
God says "I've a question for you, how come you're all about Jesus Saves, and Jesus does miracles, and nary a word about me?"
The minister says "Well, he did walk on water"
"I invented water!"
"He fed the multitude with loaves and fishes"
"I invented bread and fish!"
"He cured the leper"
"I invented leprosy! ... Oh - I see your point"
He gets to the entrance and the angel in charge says "We've been waiting for one of your lot to show up, God wants a chat"
So he is shown into a room where God has manifested.
God says "I've a question for you, how come you're all about Jesus Saves, and Jesus does miracles, and nary a word about me?"
The minister says "Well, he did walk on water"
"I invented water!"
"He fed the multitude with loaves and fishes"
"I invented bread and fish!"
"He cured the leper"
"I invented leprosy! ... Oh - I see your point"
Ian H
Ancient randonneur
A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?”
The man replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.”
“You need to take them to the zoo,” the policeman said.
The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo?” the officer said.
“I did,” the man replied. “And today I’m taking them to the seaside."
The man replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.”
“You need to take them to the zoo,” the policeman said.
The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo?” the officer said.
“I did,” the man replied. “And today I’m taking them to the seaside."
