Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[morrisman]

 

[Cavalol]

Fastest runner at our school was a kid called Andy Zoff.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

II?

Ears obvs.......

 

[newfhouse]

 

[Cavalol]

I'm sick of people lying to me.
I've asked 3 people for the time today and they've all told me something different.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

View: https://twitter.com/i/status/1568363957261422593

 

[tyred]

The fact that there's a highway to Hell but only a stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic volumes.

 

[PeteXXX]

In the papers today it says that eating oily fish helps to stop deafness.

Good news for the hard of herring.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[PaulB]

What do you call a detective that solves a case by pure chance?

Sheer-luck Holmes.

 

[tyred]

Procrastination is a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today.

 

[mistyoptic]

Procrastination is a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today.

Unless you’re newlyweds. Then you should “never put off until tomorrow what you can do today. If you enjoy it today, you can do it again tomorrow“

 

[Profpointy]

View attachment 660816

Joking aside a pal of mine went to a motor factors for a brake cylinder, and the parts guy said (I'm paraphrasing but the gist is true) "we've got a wheel cylinder for the MG for £22" and passing the box to his other hand continued, "but the one for the Morris Oxford is only 15 quid".
"Oh, in that case I'll have the one for the Oxford please"
There were even different part numbers too.