Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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rustybolts
pedalling tediously
- Location
- Ireland
An Irishman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little maths test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said.
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9". "Without numbers?" The Irishman says? "Dat is easy". And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Have you got no brain? Tree and tree plus tree makes 9" says the Irishman. "Fair enough" says the boss.
"Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99".
The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a little smudge on each tree... "Ere you go".
The boss scratches his head and says "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree. Dat makes 99".
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he says "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100".
The Irishman stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says "Ere you go. One hundred".
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Irishman leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and whispers "A little dog come along and poops by each tree.
So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes ONE HUNDRED!".........
He got the job
Don't you just love the Irish
Here is your first question, the foreman said.
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9". "Without numbers?" The Irishman says? "Dat is easy". And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Have you got no brain? Tree and tree plus tree makes 9" says the Irishman. "Fair enough" says the boss.
"Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99".
The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a little smudge on each tree... "Ere you go".
The boss scratches his head and says "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree. Dat makes 99".
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he says "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100".
The Irishman stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says "Ere you go. One hundred".
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Irishman leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and whispers "A little dog come along and poops by each tree.
So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes ONE HUNDRED!".........
He got the job
Don't you just love the Irish
rustybolts
pedalling tediously
- Location
- Ireland
The above joke proves how clever we really are !
Andy in Germany
Guru
- Location
- Rottenburg am Neckar
Why do these goats have bells on?
Because their horns don't work...
Toshiba Boy
N+1er
- Location
- By the beach, West Zummerzet
Kempstonian
Has the memory of a goldfish
- Location
- Bedford
An elderly gentleman had been experiencing serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again.”
To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven't told my family yet I just sit around and listen to the conversations.
I've changed my will five times!”
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again.”
To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven't told my family yet I just sit around and listen to the conversations.
I've changed my will five times!”
Toshiba Boy
N+1er
- Location
- By the beach, West Zummerzet
Last edited by a moderator:
rustybolts
pedalling tediously
- Location
- Ireland
Salty seadog
Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)
Some bugger has glued my deck of cards together, I can't deal with it.
