Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[captain nemo1701]

One of my faves from US comic Steven Wright:

'They say you never know what you've got until its gone. I wanted to know everything I had so I gave it all away.....'

 

[Cavalol]

I was doing a crossword in the pub and said to my Scottish mate, "I'm stuck on one: trapped on a desert island, eight letters, starting with M."
He said, "Marooned."
I said, "Thanks, I'll have a pint of lager then!"

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

 

[Arjimlad]

Four candles?

 

[PeteXXX]

I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit....

It was a lamb bikini

 

[mistyoptic]

My wife asked me to fix her sewing machine.

it took me HOURS! It was a real Pfaff

 

[Speicher]

My wife asked me to fix her sewing machine.

it took me HOURS! It was a real Pfaff

Seams like this is the wrong thread! Cut and baste this, you'll needle all help you can get.

I usually ask my Brother.

 

[Tribansman]

Seams like this is the wrong thread! Cut and baste this, you'll needle all help you can get.

I usually ask my Brother.

That's great punning, sew well done. Had me in stitches!

With that wordsmithery, you should try your hand at being a Singer songwriter.

 

[tyred]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Andy_R]

So I thought I'd check my car over today before its MOT.

When I got to the battery, I found two lumps. I checked them, and one came back positive. Hope it's not terminal...

 

[tyred]

 

[PeteXXX]

That's great punning, sew well done. Had me in stitches!

With that wordsmithery, you should try your hand at being a Singer songwriter.

Make sure a Mod pins this thread... 👍

 

[Tribansman]

Make sure a Mod pins this thread... 👍

The mods don't like it when there's too much needle