Any good jokes ... ?

[postman]

i dont want too brag about how i manage my money.But each week my credit card company ring me and tells me my balance is outstanding.

 

[SydZ]

i dont want too brag about how i manage my money.But each week my credit card company ring me and tells me my balance is outstanding.

I've heard it as:

I'm going to give tight rope walking a go as my credit card company calls each week to tell me my balance is outstanding.

 

[Andy in Germany]

This could revive a lot of the old skoda and Lada jokes.

I've heard that in east Germany a Skoda/Lada was what Trabi owners aspired to...

 

[Chris S]

I've heard that in east Germany a Skoda/Lada was what Trabi owners aspired to...

Ladas can't be that bad. Every news report from Eastern Europe seems to show one in the background, even though they went out of production 20 years ago.

 

[Andy_R]

Ladas can't be that bad. Every news report from Eastern Europe seems to show one in the background, even though they went out of production 20 years ago.

I used to own a Lada Vaz 2101. Aka Polski Fiat. It was as tough as old boots and never let me down. Ok, 0-60 was covered in days, rather than seconds, but I remember it only copping out once, when it dropped all of it's coolant going through the Tyne Tunnel ( still managed to get as far north as Cramlington before it had to stop). Absolutely bullet proof.

 

[markemark]

Has anybody opened Schrodinger’s coffin yet?

 

[srj10]

I was tired of being ridiculed for being bald so I went out and bought a cheap wig.

It was a small price toupee.

 

[Profpointy]

Ladas can't be that bad. Every news report from Eastern Europe seems to show one in the background, even though they went out of production 20 years ago.

Back in the day almost every taxi in Cardiff was a Lada. It seems the council licensing requirement was that taxis could only be two years old or whatever it was so the taxi guys all bought new Ladas, rather than Mercs which might last 10 years hard use

Also regarding Ladas the Landrovery one was genuinely pretty good

 

[Sharky]

One of my old work colleagues was a bit of a car nut. His pride and joy was a black MGC, the one with a V8 engine. But he would only use it when the sun shined.

For every day use and commuting he bought himself a LADA.

 

[HarryTheDog]

Many years ago just my job involved technical support of the Ukraine and I travelled from Odessa to Kiev upgrading telecomms kit along the way in a 4 wheel drive Lada Riva in the middle of winter. It never missed a beat and tackled everything -26 0c snow drifts etc. ( NB my driver and interpreter was a Ukrainian who was a ex russian tank commander)

 

[oldfatfool]

'an'

 

[Rab C Nesbitt]

Many moons ago, I was parked in Belfast City (Now George Best) Airport, waiting to pick up my boss. A Lada parked next to me. The driver got out, opened his bonnet, removed the rotor arm, put it in his briefcase and walked into the terminal, presumably to fly out. Strange, probably the last car in a very secure car park that any self respecting car thief would have considered nicking!

 

[MichaelW2]

Ladas can't be that bad. Every news report from Eastern Europe seems to show one in the background, even though they went out of

Many moons ago, I was parked in Belfast City (Now George Best) Airport, waiting to pick up my boss. A Lada parked next to me. The driver got out, opened his bonnet, removed the rotor arm, put it in his briefcase and walked into the terminal, presumably to fly out. Strange, probably the last car in a very secure car park that any self respecting car thief would have considered nicking!

He could be unlucky and have a car thief with self-esteem issues

 

[Profpointy]

One of my old work colleagues was a bit of a car nut. His pride and joy was a black MGC, the one with a V8 engine. But he would only use it when the sun shined.

For every day use and commuting he bought himself a LADA.

At the risk of pedantry that would have been the MGB V8 - the "C" version had the straight 6 engine from the big Austin saloon car

 

[Scoosh]

MOD NOTE:
Okay, there's been lots of Lada-talk and, to be honest, not much of it was iaw the Thread title.
Please revert to type return to GOOD jokes now !


**If you wish to continue discussing Ladas and other motor vehicles, there's a whole section devoted to them.