Any good jokes ... ?

[Cubist]

What did the Slug say to the Snail.......


"Big Issue Sir?"

Groannnnnn but good

What did the snail on the back of a tortoise say?


"Wheeeeeee!"

A snail went into a police station to report he'd been mugged by two slugs.
"Can you describe them?" asked the officer
"Not really" replied the snail, "It all happened so fast."

 

[welsh dragon]

A snail went into a police station to report he'd been mugged by two slugs.
"Can you describe them?" asked the officer
"Not really" replied the snail, "It all happened so fast."

Oh my god. That's even worse than the other one.

 

[Scoosh]

@ArDee - keep up at the back !

 

[ArDee]

@ArDee - keep up at the back !

Sorry 1st time round it was only 15 pages in and given my age and short term memory - I would like to ask for forgiveness.

 

[welsh dragon]

What is the one thing that all men in a singles bar have in common?

they're all married.

 

[welsh dragon]

Man said to god " why did you make women so beautiful"

god said " so you would love her".

the man said " but why did you make her so dumb god".

god said " so she would love you".

 

[Markymark]

Impotence, it's a growing problem.

 

[mrcunning]

If you are down and need a pick me up?.play your wedding video in reverse...

 

[TwickenhamCyclist]

 

[screenman]

Watch it too the end if you can.


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRxsweDq0FE

 

[User33236]

My wife asked me, "Have you heard the expression 'Keep your friends close but your enemies closer'?"

"Of course," I replied. "Why do you think I married you?"

 

[roadrash]

the last fancy dress party i went to , i carried my girlfriend on my back , when someone asked what i came as i said ... a tortoise.... .... a tortoise came the reply ... well whos that on your back .......i said thats michelle

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

The Malaysian athletes at the Commonwealth Games are looking very nervous.

Must be starting to think about the flight home.

 

[PeteXXX]

"Mummy mummy, can I lick the bowl?"

"No... pull the chain like everyone else"

 

[Vapin' Joe]

Message to a friend;

"True friendship is like weeing in your pants
Everyone knows you've done it, but only you can feel the satisfying warm glow it brings
Thank you for being the wee in my pants"