Any good jokes ... ?

[PaulB]

Sad news....

The man who devised the M & S food ads has died.

He will be cremated tomorrow in an applewood and mesquite fire with blistered marshmallows and charred Madagascan vanilla pods.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[PeteXXX]

Actual sign in my local shop... 👍

 

[Beebo]

View attachment 592431

Actual sign in my local shop... 👍

What does the covered up line at the bottom say?

 

[PeteXXX]

What does the covered up line at the bottom say?

No rudeness or abusive stuff, I think..

 

[Cavalol]

What does the covered up line at the bottom say?

'If you post this picture on Cycle Chat, I'll give you the change that's been in the back of my pants and stuff'.

 

[Cavalol]

I went speed dating yesterday and the first woman said "Got any pets?" and I said "Yeah a Goldfish". "Oh, she said "Any hobbies?"
"Yes, I replied, he quite like swimming."

 

[Nibor]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[postman]

A mate of mine has been visiting his aunty in a care home.One of the residents was 100 years old they were celebrating her birthday.Tv were there plus a very well known tv personality singer,who my mates aunt has never liked.So at the end the singer made it a point to say hello to one and all,my mates aunt ignored him,so he said do you know who i am,no auntie replied but if you ask Matron she will tell you.