Any good jokes ... ?

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[welsh dragon]

My friend died last night from heartburn.

I'm so sad Gaviscon

 

[welsh dragon]

A friend of mine was arrested last week. The police said "anything you say will be held against you" so he said "boobs".

 

[Dayvo]

 

[PaulB]

My girlfriend says she's leaving me because of my obsession with soap operas. Will she really go? Tune in next week to find out.

 

[PeteXXX]

I locked myself out of the house today. I shouted through the letterbox to the cat to let me in..

He said "Me.. How..?"

 

[PaulB]

I just got back from the doctors. He reckons I might have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis but it's hard to say.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

A friend of mine was arrested last week. The police said "anything you say will be held against you" so he said "boobs".

A friend of mine was arrested last week. The WPC said "anything you say will taken down and held against you". He said "knickers".

 

[sheddy]

 

[houblon]

A friend of mine was arrested last week. The WPC said "anything you say will taken down and held against you". He said "knickers".

Police have appealed to the public to help trap the audacious thief who stole the WC from the station. They say they are conducting enquiries but have nothing to go on.

 

[Archie_tect]

Police also reported the theft of a large hole in Derbyshire- due to cutbacks they are unable to look into it.

 

[F70100]

Thieves broke into a local Police Station and stole a number of criminal records. Amongst these were “Tears” by Ken Dodd, “Agadoo” by Black Lace and ”Grandad” by Clive Dunn.

 

[mistyoptic]

Is anyone else fed up of these recipes which call for diced vegetables?

It takes blooming ages putting all the spots on

 

[Dave7]

Knock on the door yesterday.
2 people distributing religious tracts..... they were both Eskimos.
I told them......"I don't like cold callers".

 

[Dave7]

On my walk yesterday I was attacked by a cow.
Fortunately I was only grazed.