Any good jokes ... ?

[Dayvo]

 

[Tribansman]

A bloke rang me up the other day and said ‘I’m the dandy highwayman, who you’re too scared to mention. I spend my cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention.’ I told him he had the wrong number, but he was adamant.

Really gets around this fellah

 

[Slioch]

View attachment 589957

Sorry, but I don't get this. I'm normally quite good at these kind of things, but not this one.

Could someone explain it in words of one syllable to an eejit please?

Ta

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Another good reason not to travel west across the Pennines!

 

[Chromatic]

Whoops! Sorry, should have checked through recent posts first

Wasn't meant as a criticism, I just thought it was a witty comment, funnier than some of the jokes here even if I may say so myself. Perhaps I should have put a smiley thing.

 

[Chris S]

Sorry, but I don't get this. I'm normally quite good at these kind of things, but not this one.

Could someone explain it in words of one syllable to an eejit please?

Ta

It's a common misconception that hummingbirds don't have feet. They do but they're very small. The cheer probably went up in the bar because somebody won a bet.

 

[srj10]

They're building a mirror factory in my town.

I could see myself working there.

 

[PaulB]

Went to see an Indian Elvis impersonator last night. Amal Shukup.

 

[Cavalol]

Make your own Yo sushi! bar at home by simply peeling a few fish fingers and strapping them to a Scalextric set.

 

[postman]

Just been to see a mate of mine.He is suffering with bad headaches at the moment.How did it start I asked.Well me and the missus were putting up posts for our new fencing,I was holding the post,I gave her the sledge hammer and said when I nod my head hit it,the headaches began after that.

 

[houblon]

It's a common misconception that hummingbirds don't have feet. They do but they're very small. The cheer probably went up in the bar because somebody won a bet.

ok...so where's the joke?

 

[tyred]

 

[PaulSB]

ok...so where's the joke?

Yep, that's what I thought........not even remotely funny.

 

[Buck]

 

[Electric_Andy]

I went on dragon's den to show them my infra-red TV control device. All was going well until I made a joke about the product; they didn't find it remotely funny