Any good jokes ... ?

[roadrash]

 

[GM]

 

[Cavalol]

Welcome to laser noises club.

Please take a pew.

 

[GetFatty]

View attachment 572241

I once worked with Nicola when she was Health Secretary for Scotland so I feel I should defend her but no carry on......

 

[Chris S]

 

[Dave7]

I have just changed all the locks in my house so decided to write a song about it.
There are lots of key changes.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[PaulB]

Now I've lived through an actual plague, I can fully understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of fat people lying on couches.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Cavalol]

Accidentally used the dog shampoo this morning, feeling like a good boy today.

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

It's like looking for a (Tiff) Needell, in a haystack!!"

 

[morrisman]

I told Bill Withers that 'Ain't No Sunshine' was particularly poor grammar.
He replied 'I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know'

 

[betty swollocks]

Two cannibals meet one day in a jungle clearing. The first cannibal comments, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbequed 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?"
"You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they’re sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah ha! No wonder.. those are friars!"

 

[betty swollocks]

Apropos my joke above ^^......maybe they should search specifically for one who’s very overweight and into transcendental meditation: ie locate a deep fat friar.