Actually one of the worst things I have ever eaten was a pair of very fresh, barely-cooked young rams testicles. It was when I was in Saudi Arabia and my then boyfriend - an Englishman working for the Ministry of Planning through some sort of secondment deal with Stanford University - had gone to collect some bottles of whisky 'run' by the members of a bedouin tribe and I went along for the ride, as it were.
We were welcomed with open arms; and I was ushered into the women's quarters where of course they assumed that my bf was my husband and I was bombarded with questions. I wasn't thinking fast enough, if I had I'd've said we'd been married three months and I was pregnant with twin boys already - but instead I ended up with them tut-tutting at my misfortune of having no sons - not even any children! - and the oldest woman of them all said she knew a sure fire way I'd get pregnant with boys. She yelled at the men, volubly insisting on something and the next thing I knew, a few minutes after a feeble 'baaaa' outside the tent had faded into silence, I was presented with a plate on which lay two partially-cooked, still slightly bloody, small objects.
Eat, eat! urged all the women encouragingly. It will bring you many sons, they assured me.
Ye gods, I hope not, I thought. That's the best way to get sent to prison then ignominiously deported ...
I wondered if the hormones contained in the testicles could negate the effects of the daily Pill, if they would survive this brief cooking, and if they did, would my digestive process be able to destroy them. I assumed the best and looking at the plate (which I can still see, it was an enamel one with a blue border and a tiny blue flower on the rim) in order to avoid looking at the testicles, I ate them. As I had cut each one in half and they were only small, I could swallow them without biting into them so I didn't taste them.
I was congratulated by the women and they were very happy that now I would get pregnant with boys ... sorry to disappoint but when my bf went out to collect the next crate of Johnny Walker Red Label on behalf of whoever was the Minister of Planning at the time I told him to go by himself and to smile conspiratorially if anyone asked about me because the old woman would be really disappointed if she found out I wasn't pregnant ...