True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Chris Rea has a new job on The Chase as on of the chasers. He being billed as the Bearded B***ard.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea starred in the first filming of this years The Apprentice, however he kept nipping back in time using both the Turdis & Time Transit, and he managed to make so much money on each task, that not only did he win, but he actually managed to buy out Alan Sugar, then promptly fired him, the BBC were furious as they had to start from scratch, using a fresh selection of grade 1 numpties

 

[Drago]

Alan Sugar was so furious he challenge Chris Rea to an arm wrestling match to settle the matter. Rea has yet to accept.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea is working on a remake of Planet of the Apes, but with the apes replaced by garden gnomes.

 

[Way-Out-West]

Chris Rea’s records are full of subliminal messages. On one track, if played backwards you can hear lleh ot daor eht.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea has invented a new wood preservative with black pudding as a main ingredient. C.ReaSote will be on sale before the summer.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea stole the original Eiffel Tower, and had it rebuilt in Blackpool, in 1894, and was the headline opening act in the tower ball room on opening day

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea led an unsuccessful campaign in 1976 to rename Blackpool as Blackpuddingpool. This was an attempt to spite Richard Madeley who'd bought a holiday home there.

 

[lazybloke]

The guy that started Amstrad was originally called Alan Schwartz.
He was affectionately known as 'Sugar' by his most successful apprentice Chris Rea (because Rea couldn't remember the the correct spelling).

The name stuck, so they came up with a plan to pop back to 1947 in the Turdis to tweak the birth registration to make the nickname formal.
An accident with the auberge field means Lord Sugar's chin is permanently stuck in 1947, which is why his beard looks so old fashioned.

Not wanting to cause offence, Chris Rea declared "Nonsense, it looks a luxuriant and wonderful statement of fashion; I shall forever adopt the same hirsute adornment".
That's why they're a pair of beardy weirdies.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris has adapted the Turdis to run on black pudding. When the Turdis exceeds the speed of time, there’s an Ecky Thump which reverberates back 65 million years.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was the original choice to play Simon Templar in The Saint but Volvo refused to allow the producers to attach their badge to the TURDIS.

 

[grldtnr]

The guy that started Amstrad was originally called Alan Schwartz.
He was affectionately known as 'Sugar' by his most successful apprentice Chris Rea (because Rea couldn't remember the the correct spelling).

The name stuck, so they came up with a plan to pop back to 1947 in the Turdis to tweak the birth registration to make the nickname formal.
An accident with the auberge field means Lord Sugar's chin is permanently stuck in 1947, which is why his beard looks so old fashioned.

Not wanting to cause offence, Chris Rea declared "Nonsense, it looks a luxuriant and wonderful statement of fashion; I shall forever adopt the same hirsute adornment".
That's why they're a pair of beardy weirdies.

As a fellow Essex man. I can confidently call sir Alan Sugar, (nee Schwartz) , a 'Twonk', a succesfull one at that, but a Twonk.
But we know about Chris Rea, he does like to rub shoulders, in this case, he is rubbing hirsute chins, yet another Essex mannerism, which we don't see so much now, but it I derogratory

 

[Drago]

Essex was originally called Eastshire.

In 1992 Crish Rea won Eastshire from David Essex during a game of poker. Rea was so impressed about how gracious Dsvid Essex was in defeat he decided to rename the county after his vanquished opponent.

 

[Pinno718]

Adam Ant won a house in that very same Poker game. But he doesn't need it anymore. He hasn't got time to fix it.

 

[DRM]

Adam Ant won a house in that very same Poker game. But he doesn't need it anymore. He hasn't got time to fix it.

Apparently Shakin' Stevens was also at that poker game, Adam Ant's win inspired his hit song "This Old House"