True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

The reason Lemmy craned his head skywards when singing live was to keep an eye out for Chris Rea, an avid Motorhead fan, emptying the slop bucket as the TURDIS flew overhead.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea is working on a special performance for this years Edinburgh Military Tattoo, he has set the Auberge field circuits up to play music, as well as explode, to this end he hopes his Turdis version of the 1812 Overture will bring the house down, hopefully not literaly, he will make the Turdis appear out of a cloud of smoke, while a re-enactors perform as French & Russian Soldiers, in a fitting finale to the show, hopefully the Turdis will behave itself & The Castle Esplanade will come away unscathed

 

[Drago]

During a recent drunken ebay bidding session, Chris Rea won Lance Armstrong's missing testicle for £4.33.

 

[craigwend]

Amazingly Chris Rea has never won...


Rear of the Year...

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea has mastered the Vulcan Death Grip.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Amazingly Chris Rea has never won...


Rear of the Year...

Just don't mention it to him. A string of second places in the 90s left him very bitter. Losing out to Jeremy Clarkson in '97 was very tough on his confidence.

 

[grldtnr]

Just don't mention it to him. A string of second places in the 90s left him very bitter. Losing out to Jeremy Clarkson in '97 was very tough on his confidence.

One of the prime causes of his feud with that sofa fop Madely, is ' bum ' of the year, but that's a different category.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris will eat 2 packs of crisps at once , he will take 2 different flavours , take one out of one. Another of a different flavour, put them together and eat them the same time!!!
He then when the bags empty , place them in his hand and slap with his hand, bursting the bag with a loud pop, and showering himself with crumbs.
His landlady isn't very happy , as it makes a crispy crumby mess all over the place.
The joy of being Chris Rea !

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea knitted Frank Bough's famous wooly pully as a birthday present,hoping to get into the BBC brekky presenters good books and find himself a place on the show as part of his ongoing feud with Richard Madeley.

 

[Drago]

Richard Madeley's house redently burned down.

By judicious use of the TURDIS Chris Rea was able to pass the lie detector test when a furious Madeley took the matter to the Jeremy Kyle show.

 

[Dogtrousers]

All I know is that Dire Straits and Chris Rea got together once. It was Diarea.





I'm getting my coat, Don't worry.

 

[Pinno718]

I'm protesting: This thread boils with every poison...

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea put the Rea in Great Britain

 

[Pinno718]

Nicked form another forum:

Chris Rea came to my garden centre today... ...he bought a driving gnome for Christmas.​

 

[yello]

An anagram of his name is rich arse. There may be more.