True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Nah, must be a scam, Madely gets his Champers 'free' from the Co-op, or so he thought.

Although the third time they saw him do it they reminded him.

Word is that Richard Madeley was recently beaten at chess by Mr T, and then just beaten by Mr T.

The muscle bound non-fool sufferer swears blind that the earpiece he had is a hearing aid and not, as has been suggested by Madeley from his Hospital bed, a device from which Chris Rea issues chess playing instructions.

 

[grldtnr]

Best place for him , Madely that is, a hospital bed ,with hospital food.
And 'Nurse' Rea give him iced bed baths, and temperature checks, but Nursey might find he likes having things done like that,
More fool nursey Rea......

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea had a small part in Carry On Doctor. He played Hattie Jacques' Matronly love interest, Doctor Auberge-Fool.

 

[DRM]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c871eeez0yzo
Chris Rea's latest project, a Super Space Turdis has landed on the moon, in order to keep the project secret, he opened a workshop in the U.S, his company, Intuitive Machines have built the Super Space Turdis, code name "Athena "with a special jumping mini Turdis, code name "Grace"that can reach a shaded crater in about 5 leaps, as Chris believes this crater is where the soup dragon lives, he hopes to negotiate a sole trade partnership with the soup dragon, to bring her delicious homemade moon broths back to earth, that he will sell online under the name of "Rea's Lunar Broth" as well as the soup Chris has also put on board a 4G telephone mast to be installed on the moon, so that he can ring his soup orders through to the soup dragon directly, on his new ReaCom Cellular Telecoms company, he has also sent the soup dragon a top of the range iPhone, with an Apple Music Account set up with a Chris Rea Essentials playlist setup for the soup dragon too, in a statement Chris Rea said that "this was an exciting opportunity to enhance employment on the moon for the soup dragon, & the clangers who were callously dumped by the BBC" however Rea's Lunar Broth will not be available in the U.S due to the 250% tariffs

 

[Drago]

Mr T is Chris Rea's masseur.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea is also in negotiations with Yorkshire TV Studios in Leeds, his proposal is a remake of Jurassic Park, to be called Jurassic Emmerdale, where he opens a park full of Dinosaurs on the North Yorkshire Moors, however disaster strikes when he nips in to Emmerdale to top up the pre-payment card for for the meter that supplies the electric fence ,at the Post Office, however the card machine is down & because the electric fence is off, the Dinosaurs escape, Richard Madeley is cast as the scientist who hides in the outdoor loo behind the Woolpack, only to be eaten by a T-Rex, the animals run riot across North Yorkshire, with a herd of Diplodocus using the radar domes at Menwith Hill as footballs, and Pterodactyls flying over Scarborough and mugging tourists for their fish & chip takeaways, Chris thinks it should be an Oscar Winning film

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea steadfastly refuses to use Richard Madeley's chosen pronouns.

In any case, despite Madeley's insistence to the contrary, Rea is pretty sure that "your majesty" is not a pronoun.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea originally grew his beard so he could shop at Aldi without being recognised.

However, when he tried to shave it off it was so wiry the razor wouldn't touch it so the beard remains.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea originally grew his beard so he could shop at Aldi without being recognised.

However, when he tried to shave it off it was so wiry the razor wouldn't touch it so the beard remains.

I have a beard.
I shop at ALDI ( pronounced OLDIE !) but nobody recognises me,perhaps I am Chris Rea, never mind being John Malkovich I'm Chris Rea, a Spartacus moment

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea broke into Richard Madeley's house one night and removed the floppy haired presenters Eagles cassette collection.

Rea took them home and recorded over them all with hours of George Formby, before breaking in the following night and replacing them.

 

[DRM]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c871eeez0yzo
Chris Rea's latest project, a Super Space Turdis has landed on the moon, in order to keep the project secret, he opened a workshop in the U.S, his company, Intuitive Machines have built the Super Space Turdis, code name "Athena "with a special jumping mini Turdis, code name "Grace"that can reach a shaded crater in about 5 leaps, as Chris believes this crater is where the soup dragon lives, he hopes to negotiate a sole trade partnership with the soup dragon, to bring her delicious homemade moon broths back to earth, that he will sell online under the name of "Rea's Lunar Broth" as well as the soup Chris has also put on board a 4G telephone mast to be installed on the moon, so that he can ring his soup orders through to the soup dragon directly, on his new ReaCom Cellular Telecoms company, he has also sent the soup dragon a top of the range iPhone, with an Apple Music Account set up with a Chris Rea Essentials playlist setup for the soup dragon too, in a statement Chris Rea said that "this was an exciting opportunity to enhance employment on the moon for the soup dragon, & the clangers who were callously dumped by the BBC" however Rea's Lunar Broth will not be available in the U.S due to the 250% tariffs

Just seen on BBC News that the Super Space Turdis project is another disaster, as it landed on the moon & promptly fell over, the soup dragon has halted production of the first batch of soup

 

[grldtnr]

Just seen on BBC News that the Super Space Turdis project is another disaster, as it landed on the moon & promptly fell over, the soup dragon has halted production of the first batch of soup

Perhaps she can ramp String pudding production, that keeps quite well.

 

[Drago]

The turning point in WW2 was in 1943 when Hitler opened a third front by declaring war on Chris Rea's holiday home in Switzerland.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea has recently admitted that he is a huge fan of Ford Cars, as well as the Time Transit, he also owns an immaculate, as new 1959 Mk2 Ford Zephyr, complete with the famous Raymond Mays tuning kit, as new because he went back to 1959 to buy it,bringing it back to modern times on a car trailer on the Time Transit, Chris Rea saw The Red Hot Chili Peppers on their World Tour supporting their Californication Album, & he took the band for a ride in his classic Ford Zephyr, the condition & styling of the car impressed the band so much that they were inspired to write their hit "The Zephyr Song" which appeared on their next album "By The Way" they even offered to buy it, but Chris was having non of it.

View: https://youtu.be/0fcRa5Z6LmU?si=TrDcbjLV5fmrwl_e

 

[Dogtrousers]

It was after a ride in Chris Rea's Ford Anglia, or "Angular" as Chris pronounces it, that Lemmy penned the line "I move like a parallelogram"