True Facts About Chris Rea

[grldtnr]

I heard he is planning to donate all of that tweed to a certain Scot living in Posh shire....,
Any truth in this?

 

[Drago]

I heard he is planning to donate all of that tweed to a certain Scot living in Posh shire....,
Any truth in this?

Indeed, he has offered via email. However,delivery may be fraught as its a very posh area and Chris Rea doesn't own a tie.

 

[lazybloke]

Indeed, he has offered via email. However,delivery may be fraught as its a very posh area and Chris Rea doesn't own a tie.

He absolutely does, but its appearance doesn't scream sartorial sophistication, due to being woven from beard hair; a sort of downmarket burlap.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea wears his pubes in the same style as his beard.

 

[DRM]

After falling out with @Accy cyclist at a poker game, Chris Rea now spends his time visiting charity shops and buying up all the tweed garments he can find.

not only that, but he bought the last Fedora in the sale at a posh London gentleman's millinery supplier

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea left a burning bag of dog poop on Richard Madeley's doorstep.

Unfortunately Madeley was at the Co-Op filling his trolley with champagne, and Judy Finnigan came rushing out in her nighty causing Rea to be sick in his beard.

not only that, but poor Judy stamped on the burning bag of poop to put it out, Chris Rea now knows he can laugh & vomit simultaneously

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea once met cheeky Comedian Roy Hudd at a showbiz do. To break the ice Chris asked "Where's your Emu?".

 

[grldtnr]

not only that, but he bought the last Fedora in the sale at a posh London gentleman's millinery supplier

Would that hat be a hideous bilious shade of green, by any chance ?
Chris Rea always wears a tie,it's round his trousers, to help keep them up? You think presumably that the Beardster has considerable wealth, but his trousers are the Role model for a certain Compo Simmonite , who listed after a Thora Hird lookalike , but who happened to have a humour transplant so serious that it makes a Vogon fit to burst out laughing.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea passed selection for the SAS but was ultimately turned down for being too hard.

 

[DRM]

Would that hat be a hideous bilious shade of green, by any chance ?
Chris Rea always wears a tie,it's round his trousers, to help keep them up? You think presumably that the Beardster has considerable wealth, but his trousers are the Role model for a certain Compo Simmonite , who listed after a Thora Hird lookalike , but who happened to have a humour transplant so serious that it makes a Vogon fit to burst out laughing.

Yes that's the one, he was last seen wearing it trying to coax 2 woolly mammoths into an articulated cattle truck on the Synthonia Sports Ground in Billingham

 

[grldtnr]

Perhaps that hat in icky Accy green reminds the mammoths of some rather tasty herbage, Chris will need to be careful ,lest it plucked from his head ,and consumed!

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea kept his socks on for a month for charity.

After 30 days he tried to remove them but they had fused to his skin and become a part of his body.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea kept his socks on for a month for charity.

After 30 days he tried to remove them but they had fused to his skin and become a part of his body.

That was a 'mammoth ' effort, what was he raising money for?

 

[Drago]

That was a 'mammoth ' effort, what was he raising money for?

A new shopping trolley with champagne bottle holders for Richard Madeley.

 

[grldtnr]

Nah, must be a scam, Madely gets his Champers 'free' from the Co-op, or so he thought.