True Facts About Chris Rea

Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.

DRM

Guru
Location
West Yorks
Chris Rea has lost his marbles.

This led to his good mate Brian Johnson to get his then band, Geordie, to record their tongue in cheek song, "Geordie's Lost His Liggie" the sorry tale of Chris Rea's lost marbles, which became a staple of the North East WMC's concert rooms, a Liggie being a marble, & the netty being the loo, enjoy the true story of Chris Rea's lost marbles here :okay:

View: https://youtu.be/Y9UJ7qNOZs8?si=aQXDEgzHP_6BhHgR
 

grldtnr

Über Member
I was close. Horse shoot, cow shoot... I mean, do you really care about the exact difference?

If you mean ,do I care about the musician known as Chris Rea ?....…not one jot, nor the other Chris either.

I should say, I am not in favour of Chris Rea's overture, but having not ever ridden in a time machine, I'll not dismiss it out of hand, should he ever land next to me.
But that's unlikely ,isn't it
 
OP
OP
Drago

Drago

Legendary Member
Chris Rea auditioned to play Tony Montana in Scarface.

However, due his convent school education he could not bring himself to say the word f*** the required number of times without fainting.
 

DRM

Guru
Location
West Yorks
Chris Rea is slated to play the part of Maria in Quentin Tarantino’s remake of The Sound of Music.

I do hope they escape to Switzerland in the Time Transit !!!
 

lazybloke

Ginger biscuits and cheddar
Location
Leafy Surrey
I do hope they escape to Switzerland in the Time Transit !!!

Chris Rea was the special fx guy for Raiders of the Lost Ark ; he used auberge radiation to melt the faces of the Nazis.

He wants to go several orders of magnitude more powerful when he melts Rolf, a suitable revenge for "Sixteen going on Seventeen" , but there's a small risk of the bon Trapps and all of Salzberg falling into a singularity.
 
OP
OP
Drago

Drago

Legendary Member
Mrs Agnes Accythwaite, 83, of Leeds, redently appeared on Antiques Roadshow with what's he claimed to be Chris Rea's beard comb.

Sadly, the intense radiation made it a "fascinating period piece for Rea collectors", but worthless in cash terms due to being highly radioactive.
 

grldtnr

Über Member
It has been noted up thread about Chris Rea playing the part of Maria the twist being Maria is transgender sex change .
Chris does have some concerns about having to wear a pr of comedy prosthetic breasts, shaving his lustrous beard, and the necessary operation to remove his most treasured 'little' Willie, but he is well into his 80's , and the little fella isn't quite up to it these days.
Drago is down to play Rolf the telegram me boy, , he does so enjoy the dressing up in lederhosen.
 

grldtnr

Über Member
Chris Rea isn't really all powerful. He's just a bloke hiding behind a curtain

Thats an untruth the 'Rea' is a powerful omnipotent one, his power and influence extend far and wide, much further than the binary star systems of Alpha Centuri 5 and far beyond.
Middlesbrough is not the centre of the universe, it's not even a fly turd on the soles of humanity, the power of Rea is infinitesimal.......the Rea doesn't even need a TURDIS to knock about , it's omnipotent , it's everywhere
.
( As long as that Orange Manbaby from the USA doesn't slap a tariff on the bearded omnipotent one)
 
Top Bottom