True Facts About Chris Rea

[grldtnr]

A few of us will well remember Judy Finigans 'Wardrobe malfunction ' live on T.V.
It's no secret ,this was of course Chris Rea's doing, this long running feud with Madely,begun with a 'Benny Hills Angels' incidence. caused back stage, when certain fop haired t.v. presenter was caught stirring Rea's Tizer cocktail with his badger, so began a chase around the studio grounds , with Madelys' trousers around his ankles.
These 2 have never got on after that.

 

[Drago]

Phil Schofield never made a pass at Chris Rea.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea got his first break in the music industry playing the triangle in Alvin Stardust's band.

 

[grldtnr]

Sometimes ,when he is out and about ,trying to eradicate the world of Liquorice Allsorts, he likes to reverse play 'Jenga' with the sweet treats, he will pile them up up top of each other, as high as they can go , then when they fall, he will stab them onto a kebab stick , then just like a Circus performance, swallow the lot in one go, pulling the lot of with his teeth.

For an Encore he eats fire , sending sheets of flame out , whilst blindfolded, simultaneously, throwing the kebab stakes at a picture of a gurning Richard Madeley spinning on a dartboard , he gets a bulls eye every time......how he does it is unknown.
Such is the entertaining talent that is Chris Rea.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea uses the TURDIS to cheat at Trivial Pursuit.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris is one of the few people who can juggle chainsaws, and yet still have all his fingers, thumbs & toes.
He uses his feet, as a blues guitarist ,he rather likes his fingers where they are, on his hands!

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris is one of the few people who can juggle chainsaws, and yet still have all his fingers, thumbs & toes.
He uses his feet, as a blues guitarist ,he rather likes his fingers where they are, on his hands!

I misread that as "Chris is one of the few people who can juggle jigsaws"

How foolish of me. That would be silly.

 

[grldtnr]

This thread is non to serious, in fact it's complete nonsense.
So your belief that he was juggling jigsaws, the wood cutting type may not be that prepostrus.
But if he were juggling Jigsaw puzzles, that plainly is a stretch of imagination !

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's donor card strictly prohibits any of his parts going to Richard Madeley.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea's donor card strictly prohibits any of his parts going to Richard Madeley.

Except for one finger

 

[Dogtrousers]

Anthony Hopkins based his portrayal of Hannibal Lecter on Richard Madeley. He took a stack of VHS tapes of Good Morning with him to the set and watched them avidly between takes.

Similarly Brian Blessed based his beard in his role as Prince Vultan on Chris Rea.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

He’s broken down in a local village at the moment

 

[DRM]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cz9e78k7n01o
Chris Rea has found a bag containing Japanese Documents in the Turdis, after a night out in Yokohama, he believes a drunk man made use of the facilities and left them behind, he is currently trying to translate them to see if they have any value to him.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea has got Chloe Madeley pregnant just to spite her Dad. He was going to make a pass at Judy Finnigan but couldn't get drunk enough.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea's beard is superconducting at room temperature.