True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Chris Rea recently went back to Norway in the time of the Vikings, so he could study how Viking society works, unfortunately the door of the turdis was left ajar, on his return Chris realized he had 2 stowaways on board so did an emergency landing in the Scottish Highlands where the 2 interlopers escaped, Police Scotland are now actively seeking the person who released 2 Lynx into the Highlands, Chris claims no knowledge of the incident
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea isn't real
grldtnr
Über Member
No , but he is Rea.... Otherwise we wouldn't be dissing him!
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea uses the TURDIS to cut the grass as its a lot less bover than a hover.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
This is not surprising if you consider the little known fact that Chris Rea has partially bionic legs.
He was involved in a horrific ice-cream making accident when he was young, prompting those clever boffins at the Grand University of the North East* to say "Wheyaye, we can rebuild him man"
* Formerly known as Redcar Bash Street Secondary Modern.
grldtnr
Über Member
Chris Rea got exited about the prospects of cross dressing, he was getting positive remarks from several drag shows he turned up at, but they all said the beard was a dead giveaway.
Because he won't shave, and the fact he is positive about the use of a beard poultice nod Domestos and Marmite he wears nightly...... He realised the nightclub cabaret circuit of the Tyne Tees area wasn't for him
Because he won't shave, and the fact he is positive about the use of a beard poultice nod Domestos and Marmite he wears nightly...... He realised the nightclub cabaret circuit of the Tyne Tees area wasn't for him
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
That explains why the Bearded Lady that I saw in a freak show recently looked strangely familiar
lazybloke
Ginger biscuits and cheddar
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea had joy, he had fun, he had seasons in the sun.
grldtnr
Über Member
Not only is Chris Rea into cross dressing, also Cross posting as well ,that's him in a early attempt at show buisness
lazybloke
Ginger biscuits and cheddar
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
Popular Eurovision contestant Conchita Wurst was tutored in vocals, song-writing and beard-care by Chris Rea.
grldtnr
Über Member
Such a talented lad is Chris ,even at his undisclosed advanced age, always looking at ways to turn a penny, even if it's just a trick.
These time Travelling machines of his are costly to run, it's not beer money you know.Time travel does that,you don't know where you are ,from one moment to the next, or who you will be...
Dementia beckons......
These time Travelling machines of his are costly to run, it's not beer money you know.Time travel does that,you don't know where you are ,from one moment to the next, or who you will be...
Dementia beckons......
