True Facts About Chris Rea

[DRM]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/c4gzgv8g1dxo
In order to deflect attention from his releasing 2 Lynx in the Scottish Highlands, Chris Rea used the Time Transit to assist in capturing them again, armed with cries of here kitty, kitty, several bags of Dreamies and a selection of plant pots with catnip, he successfully lured them into the back of the Time Transit, before dropping them off at the Highland Wildlife Park for a spot of R&R, once again he gets away with it by the skin of his teeth

 

[grldtnr]

It has it’s roots in the various Neanderthal grunts from 40,000 years ago and older

I tried very hard to watch Rab C Nesbitt, on the telly, even the subtitles were in Glaswegian grunts , delivered in staccato rhythms of a glock machine pistol, just as hard to read...

Chris Rea's tyne side brogue is much easier to understand

 

[lazybloke]

I tried very hard to watch Rab C Nesbitt, on the telly, even the subtitles were in Glaswegian grunts , delivered in staccato rhythms of a glock machine pistol, just as hard to read...

Chris Rea's tyne side brogue is much easier to understand

I know this is childish, but I just want to say the best brogues are from Kettering.

 

[grldtnr]

Some say Chris Rea sleeps hanging from rafters, or in caves, if he sleeps at all, he is a 2nd cousin of Nosferatu seven times removed, and rarely arises before the sun has set, rumours are he is undead.......but in reality it's because he is really old....

 

[craigwend]

During the present 'cold snap' Chris Rea has changed his name to 'Rash Icer'...

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea always gets Chris Rea and Ray Reardon confused.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

This currently cold snap is because Chris Rea went to visit the ice age and left the doors open. To get warm again he went back 3 billion years to see volcanoes forming Earth's crust. On the way back he visited his mate Billy Crystal in Los Angeles, but again left the Turdis doors open.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea always gets Chris Rea and Ray Reardon confused.

"If you can't see the pink, it's next to the green".
Sadly this is no help to Chris Rea, as auberge radiation has left him with serious colour blindness.

 

[Drago]

The reason the people of Corby speak with an accent is not actually because they're Scottish. Its because it's the largest concentration of Chris Rea fans outside of Middlesbrough and they've all ruined their vocal chords trying to sing like their idol.

 

[Dogtrousers]

The reason the people of Corby speak with n accent is not actually because they're Scottish. Its because it's the largest concentration of Chris Rea fans outside of Middlesbrough and they've all ruined their vocal chords trying to sing like their idol.

I worked in Corby for a while. This is true.

 

[lazybloke]

Always an electronics geek at heart, Chris Rea was on his way home from a music company meeting when he popped into RS Components for some supplies.
Once home, he changed into more comfortable clothes and a labcoat, and popped his smart trousers into his Corby Press; where the unlikely combination of nylon, thermal energy, plus the flux and capacitors he'd left in a pocket, combined serendipitously to trigger what many theoretical phyisicists thought impossible; a stable auberge wormhole.
In the three seconds it took him to leap for the plug and remove power, the wormhole had sent his trousers to an unknown point of time and space within the multiverse, along with half his bedroom furniture and the pet cat.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea plans to retire to Corby. "It's such a romantic place" he says dreamily "populated by zombies who talk funny. And the industrial estate" he pauses emotionally "... the industrial estate has an RS Components distribution centre and it used to have a smelly animal food plant but I think they've knocked that down. I'd love to settle down there. I could eat in the Subway next to Asda mmm"

 

[Drago]

Corby is the largest town without city designation in the UK thetndoes not have a railway station, but it was not always thus.

The locals, with with their voices ruined trying to impersonate Chris Rea, used to struggle to be understood at the ticket office and always ended up with a "firsh class returb to dottinghab" regardless of where they wanted to go.

Thus the customers stopped going and the station closed, and Chris Rea uses the site to store his Deltic.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Corby is the largest town without city designation in the UK thetndoes not have a railway station, but it was not always thus.

The locals, with with their voices ruined trying to impersonate Chris Rea, used to struggle to be understood at the ticket office and always ended up with a "firsh class returb to dottinghab" regardless of where they wanted to go.

Thus the customers stopped going and the station closed, and Chris Rea uses the site to store his Deltic.

Corby does have a railway station. It's fairly new.

 

[Drago]

Corby does have a railway station. It's fairly new.

Ah, that's another Chris Rea intervention.

It's actually a fully working 1:1 model railway layout upon which Chris Rea can drive his Deltic. Rod Stewart helped build it and works in the ticket office, although he's on his final written warning for continuously nipping out to fill potholes.