True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Chris Rea's TURDIS causes the AuroRea BoRealis.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Chris Rea was stood on a highway, and he saw a woman by the side of the road.
She had a face that he knew like his own.
It was reflected in his window.
She walked up to his quarterlight, and bent down real slow.
Chris is not afraid to say a fearful pressure paralysed him.

She said "Son, what are you doing here? My fear for you has turned me in my grave"

Chris replied, "Mama (in a thick Geordie accent, natch) I come to the valley of the rich, myself to sell"

She said "Son, this is the road to Northants"

 

[Drago]

The reason Norfolk is so flat is because of Chris Rea and the TURDIS.

 

[stephec]

The great wall of China isn't the only thing visible from space, locked away deep in the vaults of MI5 is a photo of Chris Rea's goatee taken on Tim Peak's trip to the ISS.

 

[PeteXXX]

Chris Rea doesn't wince when he has his Covid jab.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea has been offered innumerable honours, including a peerage and several honorary professorships, but has turned them all down as he feared they would be a distraction from his commitment to bluesy pop music. He has only one regret. In 1987 he turned down the chance to be the new face of Branston Pickle. He often wonders how different life would have been if he had accepted it.

In 2007 he told The Pickler Magazine "I often wonder how different life would have been if I had accepted it"

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea visited Wuhan in late 2019. During the visit the TURDIS Auberge Field backfired, causing damage to a government bio lab that officially doesn't exist.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea has been offered innumerable honours, including a peerage and several honorary professorships, but has turned them all down as he feared they would be a distraction from his commitment to bluesy pop music. He has only one regret. In 1987 he turned down the chance to be the new face of Branston Pickle. He often wonders how different life would have been if he had accepted it.

In 2007 he told The Pickler Magazine "I often wonder how different life would have been if I had accepted it"

When Chris consumes Gherkins, it isn't orally, I'll leave you all to imagine how......but I will say is the sharp vinegar is why he is puckered up down there,
These northern folk around the Tyne /Tees reigion are a weird lot......

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea has more cravats than @Accy cyclist

Or could be the other way round, Accy has less silken/ satin paisley print Cravats, and Accy isn't in the habit of doing bank jobs or highway holdups whilst we a Middlesbro' FC bandana over his face.... Some say?

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea still hasn't got a blue badge for the TURDIS.

 

[grldtnr]

Some say he isn't 'The Stig'........

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea had a bit part on series 2 of Clarkson's Farm. He played "Yokel #3".

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea thinks it's a hoot to play tricks on historians; using his Turdis to plant jokes throughout history.

In a couple of years, a new chamber deep within the pyramid of Khufu will be opened up to reveal three Furbys and a vinyl album labelled "Now that's what I call Chris Rea".
He's also buried several Austin Maestro cars under the Greenland ice sheet; a few more years of global warming will reveal those.

Surprisingly, no-one has noticed his emojis on the Bayeux Tapestry.

 

[Drago]

The Hillman Imp was an attempt by Rootes to reverse engineer the TURDIS.

They were only partially successful in that the Imp was good at flying backwards...just not through time.

 

[stephec]

Chris Rea can speak Clanger.