True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea went forth into the garden of Gethsemane and lo! He did return in a TURDIS.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea can legally ride any e-scooter anywhere he wants.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea had a prostheic leg fitted which carries an attachment the clips to all know escooter brands.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
It’s not a leg, no one knows how he gets away with it.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Indeed. Chris Rea doesn't have a leg to stand on.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea always keeps his sunny side up.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Thanks to the TURDIS, Chris Rea owns a G Type Jag.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
An English teacher has uncovered a 1,600 year old stone in his garden in Coventry, it is carved using symbols in an early form of writing called Ogham, scientist believe it could be someones name and where they come from, they don’t know how close they are, it actually reads Chris Rea was ere, 424 AD.
https://www.artnews.com/art-news/news/ogham-stone-ireland-discovered-england-1234706301/
https://www.artnews.com/art-news/news/ogham-stone-ireland-discovered-england-1234706301/
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea's TURDIS was fired upon by HMS Hood, who's gunners had mistaken it for the Bismarck. This made him angry whereupon he turned the full fury of the Auberge Field on the ship, causing it to explode almost instantly.
Rea later refused to licence the name TURDIS to film makers, so the event was filmed as Sink the Bismarck with Kenneth More playing an affable Rea.
Rea later refused to licence the name TURDIS to film makers, so the event was filmed as Sink the Bismarck with Kenneth More playing an affable Rea.
grldtnr
Über Member
Affable Rea, !? Aren't you just taking the Chris ,a bit with that one?
It's not Cockney rhyming slang , but Chriss rhymes with P.....
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
On 21st June 1919 Chris Rea flew the Turdis over Scapa Flow, to get a grandstand view of the captured German fleet of battleships, sadly once again things took a turn for the worst, as the Turdis gave off a huge auberge field blast, and sank 53 German ship in one go, the German Rear Admiral Ludwig Von Reuter was blamed for giving the order to scuttle the ships, the huge blast welded bulkhead doors open and blew holes in vulnerable parts of the ships, causing them to sink very quickly with no way to prevent it, Rear Admiral Reuter was locked in a POW camp until 1920, as no one believed him that “Eine fliegende toilette het meine schlactschiffe in die luft gesprengte” roughly translates as a flying toilet blew up my battleships, he was never the same after seeing the trouble one Turdis can cause
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea's TURDIS is considered so prestigious it is given the honorary call sign Air Force Zero when transiting US airspace.
