True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Chris Rea's hit single "Poo (when you think it's over)" was a comic ditty about following though on a fart and was written for Benny Hill.

Following the Shakespearean actors death Rea re wrote the lyrics as a more major mainstream song and released it under his own name.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea's hit single, the Beach, was originally called the Bleach, a mournful ditty about cleaning toilets at the seaside as a summer job.

Unfortunately Domestos threatened to sue and Rea reluctantly changed the name of the song,

And the lyric 'down on the beach' refers to another summer job plucking geese, on a farm overlooking Runswick Bay

 

[Moon bunny]

On Sunday I cooked a chicken and left it by a window to stand, Chris Rea just happened to be passing and reached in and stole it, if that was not bad enough, on the way back from the pub he threw the bones into our garden, then knocked on the door and asked if we had any roast potatoes going spare.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea used to regularly choke his chicken outside Moon Bunny’s window. Then she got a restraining order in place.

 

[Seevio]

Chris Rea is finally housetrained.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Chris Rea has the world's largest collection of Raleigh Chopper bikes.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea has remained tight lipped about rumours that he was one of the Wombles. The furry supergroup have always kept their identities a tightly guarded secret with Rea and little Jimmy Osmond being most frequently named. Chris does happily admit that he wrote the song Wombling Merry Christmas, "Yeah I wrote that. It's not bad isn't? Even if I do say so myself" he says.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's hit, Auberge, is a salutory tale about a night spent in Toulouse A&E waiting to have an aubergine removed from his bottom.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea has a black belt in Karate and teaches the martial art in his spare time. It’s rumoured he once took on Chuck Norris behind closed doors. The outcome isn’t known but Chuck gets touchy when asked about it.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is just old enough to have done National Service, but prior to call up he enlisted in the Royal Navy so he could keep his trademark beard.

 

[Dogtrousers]

In news that has shaken the footballing world to its core, Middlesbrough FC have announced that they are changing the name of the Riverside Stadium to Reaven Cottage in honour of Chris Rea.

 

[Seevio]

In the 1980s, it was looking like Chris Rea might have a career in horse racing, but despite some initial success, it soon became apparent that the horses were going to win every time.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea does Thursday night drag. His drag name is Midnight Melody. He goes down a storm at the Dog and Partridge. His jokes are too bawdy to repeat here.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea got into trouble with the local council for spray painting a goatee beard around the large pothole outside his house.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea was a competitor in another trial sport in the Paris Olympics , the very French "marathon de l'amour".
After nearly peaking too early in Rue de la Tete d'Or, he settled into a comfortable pace in Rue des Mauvais Garcons but ultimately suffered a groin strain and had to pull out. C'est la vie.