True Facts About Chris Rea

[DRM]

In breaking news Chris Rea has had to abandon his latest plans for a new recording, he was due to make an EP of Rory Gallagher songs, the icing on the cake was he had been granted permission to use Rory’s 1961 Fender Stratocaster prior to it going to auction, the songs chosen were Brute Force & Ignorance, Shin Kicker, Tattoo’d Lady, Fuel To The Fire and Bad Penny, however due to recent outbreaks of violence across the country, it was deemed in bad taste and inappropriate, in a statement Chris said I’m gutted, it’s been a long time in the planning and now it won’t happen, I bet that chuffing Bonamassa buys the Strat, and he’s going to pinch my ideas, and I put he adds Driving Home for Christmas to it as well, just to rub salt in the wound.

 

[Wixsteman]

Chris Rea does a good Liberace impression

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea doesn't like Weetabix.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is allergic to toothpaste.

 

[Moon bunny]

Chris Rea has seen a straight banana.

 

[PeteXXX]

Chris Rea started the argument as to whether pineapple has any place on a pizza.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea started the argument as to whether pineapple has any place on a pizza.

Chris Rea is on record as saying that pizza has no place under a pineapple.

 

[Moon bunny]

Whatever Chris Rea says about pineapple on pizza is right, there is no argument.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

In honour of setting up this list of truths, Chris Rea has recently had the name Drago, tattooed on his left buttock.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea has had dies tattooed on his right buttock

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was a teenage apprentice in the ITV This Morning studio.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea has a CSE in technical drawing

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea invented the cats eye, after light reflected from a real cats eyes prevented him driving ofr a cliff one dark stormy night.

The next time he saw the cat it was facing the other way and that inspired him to invent the pencil sharpener.

 

[Moon bunny]

Chris Rea lubricates his cycle chains with WD40, we, the mighty Chris Rea's disciples, must do likewise.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give up, fact is indeed stranger than fiction, Chris Rea uses WD40 to polish his lock picks:
https://www.itstactical.com/skillcom/lock-picking/polishing-your-diy-lock-pick-set-for-durability/

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea keeps his luxuriant goatee looking glossy with liberal applications of Castrol LM grease.