True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Chris Rea backed put of his boxing match at the Olympics over suspicions that his opponents goatee beard is not female.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea famously claims to be a resident of Middlesbrough, but his birth certificate reveals his birthplace was 'Area 51' 👽
The names of his parents are redacted

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea was scheduled to run in lane 1 of the Paris 2024 100m final. But had to pull out after forgetting his running shoes.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea abducted some aliens so he could perform hideous sex experiments on them.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Chris Rea was originally cast in the lead female role in Dirty Dancing, but lost the position when Patrick Swayze couldn't stop laughing whilst trying to say "Nobody puts Goatee in the corner".

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea didn't master the skill of tying his own shoelaces until he was 36 years old.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was the first full frontal goatee to appear on TV before the 9pm watershed.

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Chris Rea is the UN special envoy for beared women.

Is that bare women, or women crossed with Bears; a human/ursine hybrid?

Plus, is he really The Stig?

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea's natural beard has ginger stripes. He dyes it with shoe polish to disguise this fact

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea challenged Mark Zuckerberg to an MMA fight.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Plus, is he really The Stig?

Well yes and no. Chris Rea was indeed the inspiration for the character in the children's novel Stig of the Dump. But he isn't, and never has been, the Top Gear driver. That role is shared between Mark Knopfler and Gilbert O'Sullivan

 

[PeteXXX]

Chris Rea is hoping to buy a Scottish Island where he can enforce Sha Rea law.

 

[Gwylan]

Chris Rea didn't master the skill of tying his own shoelaces until he was 36 years old.

Actually he still only uses the King Rollo method.

 

[Gwylan]

Is that bare women, or women crossed with Bears; a human/ursine hybrid?

Plus, is he really The Stig?

Bearded women, a frequently overlooked, but significant, demographic segment.

 

[classic33]