True Facts About Chris Rea

[Dogtrousers]

The Sting, Rea, Alvin Taylor, Mike Rutherford supergroup (SRAM) only lasted from 1976-1977 due to legal action by the Chicago based multi-national.
Spoil sports.

When the group collapsed the Sting, Rea duo attempted to continue only to face legal action from Gerry Anderson

 

[Drago]

To this day it is rumoured that the infamous mockumentary, Spinal Tap, is about Chris Rea and his backing band. Suspicion was further raised when Rea shaved off his suspiciously Derek Smalls like mosutache shortly after the films release.

 

[Grant Fondo]

To this day it is rumoured that the infamous mockumentary, Spinal Tap, is about Chris Rea and his backing band. Suspicion was further raised when Rea shaved off his suspiciously Derek Smalls like mosutache shortly after the films release.

No its true. He wrote all their albums and 'Break Like The Wind' went triple platinum.
Legend or what?

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea has today been in court and served with an ASBO, this was for walking his dogs near Accy Cyclists Flat

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea has been tipped to play Hugo Drax in the Disney remake of Moonraker.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea is now in trouble with his wife, their neighbour, a very attractive widow, called round and asked if Chris would help her in the garden, as she had found some Clematis Vitalba in amongst the Cryptomeria Japonica, which she had planted as a teenager, Chris agreed and quickly and efficiently dug out the Clematis Vitalba, and then he trimmed the Cryptomeria Japonica so that was perfectly shaped, not long after the postman came past and commented that he had done a fantastic job, and the garden looked superb now, when the postman got to Chris’ house he told Mrs Rea that their neighbour had some old man’s beard in the small fir that she had been growing since she was a teenager, however Chris had done an admirable job, and he’d even trimmed the fir afterwards, Chris has been sleeping in the car for 2 weeks now.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea is a real life test pilot and secretly flew the Space Shuttle in the 1970s before it became public. The remake of Moonraker will use the real ISS and be shot in space. NASA decided this was the cheapest way to destroy it at end of life.

 

[Grant Fondo]

Chris was a regular contributor to Viz magazine from 1982-85.
You can usually spot his content, as we all know, he is a keen cyclist.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is renowned for his youthful looks, which he puts down to diligent use of Olay 16 times a day. Indeed, he looks so fresh that Philip Schofield once chatted him up, only for Rea's deep masculine voice to ruin the spell.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Donald, creator of Viz magazine, revealed that, as well as being a regular contributor, Chris Rea served as the inspiration for one of Viz's best loved characters. In an interview with BBC Look North in 1991 he revealed that the characters Johnny Fartpants and Buster Gonad were based on local musicians Chris Rea and Sting respectively. "If you know them, you'll understand" he added with a chuckle.

 

[lazybloke]

In the 1980s, Chris Rea bought a large parcel of land near Reading, now known as the Winnersh Triangle. Apparently it's visible from space and looks like a giant Goatee.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea breeds goats. He uses innovative methods for breeding. Best not mentioned here.

 

[Drago]

When approached by Eamonn Andrews to appear on This is Your Life, a drunn Chris Rea shouted "***k off Eamonn", and whipped the hapless presenters trousers down on live tv.

Andrews died of shame soon after and qell known east end hardman Michael Aspel took his place, whereupon Rea apologised to the producers and immediately agreed to appear on the show. Aswell had a reputation for cutting people up good, even the occasional Chelsea smile, and Rea was clearly keen to avoid such a fate.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea worked as a runner at Pinewood Studios during filming of "Carry on Screaming".
His marriage proposal to Joan two years later was nearly derailed when she found his souvenir of undies lifted from Fenella Fielding's dressing room, which he still has to this day.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

What is he doing with her dressing room?