rogerzilla
Legendary Member
Kelly Jones is the secret love child of Chris Rea and Bonnie Tyler.
True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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Seevio
Guru
- Location
- South Glos
Chris Rea invented the time machine (in March 2029) and is unaware of hammers.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea suffers alopecia and his famous goatee is a toupee made from a rat.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Chris Rea was the head Roadie for Motorhead when not touring himself, his antics on tour were so outrageous that all 3 members of Motorhead were unable to keep up with Chris, and all his wild partying, Lemmy famously said, that's it I give up I can't keep up with him, but he wrote the song" We Are The Road Crew" in an affectionate nod to his favourite friend, roadie and party animal.
lazybloke
Priest of the cult of Chris Rea
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
@Seevo has opened a rich new seam of possibilities with Rea and his time machine.
Chris Rea visited Boston in 1773. He was only making a strong cup of tea but things kind of escalated whilst he was searching for some sugar.
On his trip to New Guinea in 1937, he gave some directions to explorer Amelia Earhart. To this day, using the Chris Rea voice on a satnav is frowned upon.
As for attempting to see Scottish Band "Franz Ferdinand", Rea was a bit foolish to travel to Sarajevo in 1914. In hindsight, the misunderstanding of the lyric "take me out" was a bit obvious.
Chris Rea visited Boston in 1773. He was only making a strong cup of tea but things kind of escalated whilst he was searching for some sugar.
On his trip to New Guinea in 1937, he gave some directions to explorer Amelia Earhart. To this day, using the Chris Rea voice on a satnav is frowned upon.
As for attempting to see Scottish Band "Franz Ferdinand", Rea was a bit foolish to travel to Sarajevo in 1914. In hindsight, the misunderstanding of the lyric "take me out" was a bit obvious.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea's indiscriminate time machine abuse extended WWII by a year.
Colonel Klaus Von Staffenbourg had successfully placed a bomb in the same meeting room as Hitler. However, a split second before detonation, Chris Rea's time machine materialised and deflected the blast, thus saving Hitler's life.
Colonel Klaus Von Staffenbourg had successfully placed a bomb in the same meeting room as Hitler. However, a split second before detonation, Chris Rea's time machine materialised and deflected the blast, thus saving Hitler's life.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Chris Rea’s Time Machine looks like a Portaloo. Some hippies at Woodstock 69 tripped out when they accidentally used it and ended up at the battle of little big horn.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea is responsible for the destruction of HMS Hood. His time machine had materialised in the magazine, and sparks from the electro magnetic flux ignited the powder charges.
The British government attributed the sinking to the Bismarck in order to stoke national outrage and stiffen the nations resolve to fight the boche.
This came some years after the 1914 incident where Rea's time machine materialised in Sarajevo and crushed Franz Ferdinand to death.
The British government attributed the sinking to the Bismarck in order to stoke national outrage and stiffen the nations resolve to fight the boche.
This came some years after the 1914 incident where Rea's time machine materialised in Sarajevo and crushed Franz Ferdinand to death.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Chris Rea’s Time Machine caused panic when a heat shield fell off over Roswell New Mexico in 1947
rogerzilla
Legendary Member
Chris Rea is an avid collector of WWI German memorabilia and wears a Pickelhaube all day on Sundays. He also owns the Red Baron's toothbrush and Kaiser Wilhelm's lucky scoring pants.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Further to the above Chris area then came back to 1980, and tried to appear at Rendelsham Forest, he was spotted by staff from RAF Woodbridge and he managed to upset the USAF twice in quick succession, yet 33 years apart, they still believe it was an alien encounter
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea's time machine briefly appeared in Texas one November in 1963. He quickly saw things weren't going well outside so flicked the switch and dematerialised.
A few folk saw him for a split second, and to this day people question who it was that seemingly disappeared into thin air on the grassy knoll.
A few folk saw him for a split second, and to this day people question who it was that seemingly disappeared into thin air on the grassy knoll.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea is the mastermind and driving force behind much loved comedy duo Ant and Dec. The idea dates back to 1990 when he placed an ad in a local newspaper "Two lads wanted to form much loved comedy duo. Ideally one with a head shaped like a lightbulb"
rogerzilla
Legendary Member
Chris Rea has a cat called Smoggie.
