True Facts About Chris Rea

[DRM]

Chris Rea was the middleweight husband dragging world champion for 3 consecutive years, 2000,2001 & 2002, the sport originated in Castleford, West Yorkshire, in 1858, when local miners were paid in the pub every friday, and after a few relaxing beers their wives would turn up on mass, grab their inebriated other halves backwards off a bar stool, and drag them home, it soon became a highly competitive event, with the women racing home, the modern event features a specially designed shirt with a reinforced dragging handle near the collar, his win was also the first by a non Yorkshire resident, the furthest away previous winner being Alf Thackeray of Goole, in 1931.

 

[Drago]

During WWII Chris Rea was a member of an auxiliary unit. In the event of a nazzie invasion Rea was tasked as a "stay behind", with orders to sabotage the nazzies and assassinate notable Englishment who might be useful to or collaborate with the hun.

To this day a glimpse of Jeremy Corbyn, Tommy Robinson or Michael Barrymore on TV is enough to send him automatically into a deadly karate stance.

 

[Jenkins]

Chris Rea is Scotland's foremost expert on Haggis sexing.

 

[Grant Fondo]

Chris was the first contestant to say, 'I'll have a 'P' please Bob' on Blockbusters. He also sang the theme tune that The Sweet later covered.

 

[Seevio]

As a result of a freak wombat related accident, one of Chris Rea's eyes is brown and the other is green. This makes him see the world in anaglyptic 3d.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea auditioned to play Jack Reacher in the Amazon Prime series, but was rejected by rhe producers for being too muscular.

 

[Grant Fondo]

Chris is in the Guiness Book of Records for driving the entire length of the A5 from London to Holyhead blindfolded.

 

[Jenkins]

Chris Rea tours as a Chris Rea tribute act under a pseudonym during festival season.

 

[Grant Fondo]

Chris wrote the Hillman Imp Haynes manual.
He owned four of them in the late 1960's, and was often seen heading north in one of them on the A1(M) towards Middlesbrough. Generally around the 24th of December.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea designed the cable gear change for the Austin Maxi.

 

[Grant Fondo]

Here it is

 

[Drago]

The stylish "droop snoot" on the Vauxhall Firenza was designed by Chris Rea as a tribute to his musical hero, Barry Manilow.

 

[Grant Fondo]

A keen lover of sweets, Chris invented clove balls, black jacks and sherbert pips.
He was beaten to cough candy twists by Leo Sayer, but won the ensuing court case.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea has a specialist endangered animals breeding centre at Teesport, he is currently working with the Australian Government in a secret Drop Bear breeding programme.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea can ride a unicycle balanced on a moving bicycle.