True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Chris Rea was round unconscious in Barrymore's swimming pool.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea has travelled widely around the North East of England, as far South as Grimsby on one occasion, but he has never been to Goole, because he thinks it sounds like a scary place that might be haunted.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea has been suspended from his role as a dancer on Strictly over allegations of inappropriate behaviour.

 

[PeteXXX]

Barry Gibb hasn't spoken to Chris Rea since he asked him if his falsetto voice came about after snagging his nads on the cross bar of his Raleigh Chopper in 1968

 

[Dogtrousers]

No one in showbiz will play Monopoly with Chris Rea anymore. This goes back to the time when he accused Paul Young of cheating and tipped the board over, but Daryl Hall and John Oates said that Chris Rea was the one who was cheating and had secretly got some monopoly money from another set down his sock. The whole thing got very heated and the sax player from Supertramp was in tears and Jona Lewie had to calm him down.

 

[rogerzilla]

Chris Rea was the model for the cover of The Strokes' "Is This It".

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea is on the UK tasting panel for Pot Noodle. He ranks the creation of the Bombay Bad Boy above any of his musical achievements.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea is often mistaken for one of the characters out of Police Academy. I can't remember which one.

 

[Paulus]

Chris Rea was once a trawlerman working on the fishing fleet from Grimsby. The nets got snagged one day by a Russian submarine and the ship, the Jolly Fisher ended up in the Baltic sea.
He was swapped as a spy for Kim Philby and Guy Burgess.

 

[Gwylan]

Chris Rea has travelled widely around the North East of England, as far South as Grimsby on one occasion, but he has never been to Goole, because he thinks it sounds like a scary place that might be haunted.

He is also not good at spelling.

 

[rogerzilla]

Chris Rea has a chest freezer in his garage that is chock-full of roadkill picked up on tour.

 

[Gwylan]

Chris Rea was once a trawlerman working on the fishing fleet from Grimsby. The nets got snagged one day by a Russian submarine and the ship, the Jolly Fisher ended up in the Baltic sea.
He was swapped as a spy for Kim Philby and Guy Burgess.

Do get it right. They were long gone anyway. Tipped off by school chums. Burgess died a hero, in Russia
Philby died in Russia.
All we were left with was some establishment shirt lifter art twerp. He looked after the queen's photos. But everybody knew.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Do get it right. They were long gone anyway. Tipped off by school chums. Burgess died a hero, in Russia
Philby died in Russia.
All we were left with was some establishment shirt lifter art twerp. He looked after the queen's photos. But everybody knew.

That's what they want you to think.

All involvement of Chris Rea has neatly been erased. How convenient.

 

[Paulus]

Do get it right. They were long gone anyway. Tipped off by school chums. Burgess died a hero, in Russia
Philby died in Russia.
All we were left with was some establishment shirt lifter art twerp. He looked after the queen's photos. But everybody knew.

The truth and history has nothing to do with this Chris Rea thread. 😁

 

[Gwylan]

The truth and history has nothing to do with this Chris Rea thread. 😁

At least make the tosh sound.
"Any lie has to have enough truth to set minds wandering"