True Facts About Chris Rea

[PeteXXX]

Internationalist, Chris Rea wrote a song called 'I can see for kilometers' but it never caught the public's imagination..
In 1965, The Who released an English version and the rest, they say, is history!

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was briefly considered to take Keith Moon's place on the drums for the Who.

Sadly Rea didn't get the gig, on account of the fact he can actually play the drums.

 

[DRM]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cgkm1vez6ero
Coastguards in Suffolk are warning people to stay away from a deep hole on the beach at Felixstowe, they have no idea of the cause, but The Turdis did make an emergency landing & take off in the early hours of Saturday morning

 

[Dogtrousers]

Internationalist, Chris Rea wrote a song called 'I can see for kilometers' but it never caught the public's imagination..
In 1965, The Who released an English version and the rest, they say, is history!

His song "Tiger Metres" suffered the same fate and was butchered by Mud

 

[Drago]

Leo Sayer's hair was straight until a low flying passmfrom Chris Rea's TURDIS exposed his head to the auberge radiation from the exhaust.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Leo Sayer's hair was straight until a low flying passmfrom Chris Rea's TURDIS exposed his head to the auberge radiation from the exhaust.

And hence the dreadful dirge of "Tears of a Clown"

 

[lazybloke]

Thanks to an 'auberge co-processor', Chris Rea runs Windows 11 on an Intel 8088.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea uses a Commodore Vic20 to handle navigation duties in the TURDIS. He is looking to upgrade the graphics as the current one pixel per 609 square miles often leaves him with a significant walk after landing.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea starred in a very short lived advertising campaign for Head and Shoulders . They decided against continuing with catchphrase in which someone would say Chris "I didn't know you had dandruff" to which would he reply "Well you fecking do now!"

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was banned from driving following a drunken chase in which he crashed his Sinclair C5 through the window of a branch of British Home Stores. To this day fans maintain a roadside memorial in the ladies lingerie aisle.

 

[DRM]

Many people are aware of an American TV series "The Curse Of Oak Island" where two brothers are trying find treasure buried by Captain Kidd, however the only Cursing will be when the brothers find out Chris Rea & the Turdis made several visits circa 1712 & took the lot, in order to fund his Time Travel Exploits

 

[Drago]

Starkey and Hutch's Paul Maichael Glazer had his cardigan knitted from asbestos fibres he stole from the Auberge Drive insulation in Chris Rea's TURDIS.

 

[grldtnr]

It's commonly believed Chris wrote the album 'Road to hell', this is untrue , he came across a magical box of frogs hidden away in his father's attic.
Curious , he opened it, they sang every song on his 'Road to hell', which was quite a doozy, as he had a bit of a writers block at the time.
Ever since, he not had to pick up his guitar to write a song, he just opens his box o frogs.
Mad ,I know ,about as mad as a box of frogs......

 

[Drago]

As a young man Chris Rea played bagpipes in a Village-People inspired hi-energy dance band called "Folk."

The entire band pretended to be gay in order to appeal to their target audience on the Blackpool nightclub scene, and to that end Rea appeared on stage in a bottomless gimp suit.

This led to the phrase, "nowt as queer as Folk."

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea is hoping to pass auditions for RuPauls Drag Race, with his alter ego called Chlamydia Burns, people who have seen the act say it's genuinely funny, and his miming to songs goes down particularly well, he thinks he could do very well on the show