True Facts About Chris Rea

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DRM

Guru
Location
West Yorks
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clyn9dgdwe3o
Due to concerns about accidentally appearing in a war zone in all the different times he visits, Chris Rea has been testing his new project, The Time Tank, he acquired a former Soviet Era T80 which has been converted to have an Auberge Field generator, and time control circuits, and test were going well, until the shonky Russian build quality came into play, in the last test, the Time Tank spectacularly failed when the turret separated from the body as the rotator ring bolts sheared off. luckily the ejector seat functioned, saving Chris, however the body of the Tank and the Turret appeared in Ukraine, where it blends in with all the other destroyed armoured vehicles, however the rotator ring landed in Mukuku Village, Kenya, where startled locals thought a bomb had gone off, one villager said that a huge metal ring landed on some farmland, it was glowing red it was so hot, and took 2 hours to cool, investigators are trying to establish where the metal ring came from, luckily the heat of re-entry has destroyed any finger print or DNA evidence, Chris Rea is quite happy that he got out safely, and there's no evidence it's anything that involves him.
 

grldtnr

Über Member
'I never knew there was so much in it', proclaimed Chris after a long session in the lav, so long had he been in there, he had cut of the blood supply to his legs.
Shocked by the unexpected sight of his pet spider , Scardiarese lookathesize, he promptly rolled up his copy of the TV times weekly then swatted the daylights out of Dave , his pet spider.

Of course , after that there was even more in the msg, he quickly realized it was Dave he had swatted
.
 
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