True Facts About Chris Rea

[DRM]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clyn9dgdwe3o
Due to concerns about accidentally appearing in a war zone in all the different times he visits, Chris Rea has been testing his new project, The Time Tank, he acquired a former Soviet Era T80 which has been converted to have an Auberge Field generator, and time control circuits, and test were going well, until the shonky Russian build quality came into play, in the last test, the Time Tank spectacularly failed when the turret separated from the body as the rotator ring bolts sheared off. luckily the ejector seat functioned, saving Chris, however the body of the Tank and the Turret appeared in Ukraine, where it blends in with all the other destroyed armoured vehicles, however the rotator ring landed in Mukuku Village, Kenya, where startled locals thought a bomb had gone off, one villager said that a huge metal ring landed on some farmland, it was glowing red it was so hot, and took 2 hours to cool, investigators are trying to establish where the metal ring came from, luckily the heat of re-entry has destroyed any finger print or DNA evidence, Chris Rea is quite happy that he got out safely, and there's no evidence it's anything that involves him.

 

[grldtnr]

'I never knew there was so much in it', proclaimed Chris after a long session in the lav, so long had he been in there, he had cut of the blood supply to his legs.
Shocked by the unexpected sight of his pet spider , Scardiarese lookathesize, he promptly rolled up his copy of the TV times weekly then swatted the daylights out of Dave , his pet spider.

Of course , after that there was even more in the msg, he quickly realized it was Dave he had swatted
.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's locomotive was bought from Arnold Schwarzenegger, who'd named the Deltic after one of his enormous deltoids.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Unconfirmed reports suggest that Chris Rea has pulled off a daring burglary and has made off with the greater part of Richard Madeley's tank top collection.

 

[Drago]

The road tax on Chris Rea's Deltic is £2,000,000 a year. His attempt to e register it as a camper van failed miserably.

 

[grldtnr]

Unconfirmed reports suggest that Chris Rea has pulled off a daring burglary and has made off with the greater part of Richard Madeley's tank top collection.

Easy to do with the TURDIS in clocked mode, especially if mad Madeley busy with the empty champers bottles ,or indeed rummaging around in his Budgen's carrier bags for next bottle.

 

[Moon bunny]

The road tax on Chris Rea's Deltic is £2,000,000 a year. His attempt to e register it as a camper van failed miserably.

Can he not class it as an historic vehicle?

 

[grldtnr]

Can he not class it as an historic vehicle?

You would have thought so, but someone in officialdom ,has cottoned on to all the hassle his illegal time travelling is causing , so refused his application ,solely because it doesn't conform as Chris hadn't worked out how to fit a removable table, and kitchen unit...... surprisingly little room In a Deltic class loco, most of
It is engine!

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea and his Deltic were hired to haul the Six-Five Special.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea and his Deltic were hired to haul the Six-Five Special.

He also used it to avoid paying the toll on The Rock Island Line, Lonnie Donegan accompanied him in the Deltics cab, hence the song having Leadbelly's original lyrics modified to include not paying their way, also Chris Rea took Lonnie Donegan in the Time Transit where they crossed the Appalachian Mountains, Cumberland Gap in the early 1920's, they heard locals singing the song "Cumberland Gap" but again Lonnie Donegan changed the lyrics slightly, with the 15 Miles To The Cumberland Gap part coming from the fact the Time Transit was low on petrol, and Lonnie Donegan was calling out how far to The Cumberland Gap Gas Station, Lonnie Donegan is a household name, thanks to Chris Rea

 

[PeteXXX]

Unlike Lonnie Donegan, Chris Rea's dad actually was a dustman!

 

[grldtnr]

Was the Van he dillied and dallied behind ,the Time Transit ?
And can he find his own way home?

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's Deltic is band G for council tax.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris used to have a really weird habit of collecting teaspoons, but that stopped when he was in Wetherspoons , for his bottomless refills, he noticed they don't have teaspoons just those wooden stirrers,
Anyway the drawers to the TURDIS are overflowing with purloined teaspoons, he now makes a point with every visit for his cuppa , to nick of with these wooden stirrers, his ambition is to build a wooden replica of the transporter bridge, full size.
Of course it won't be a working replica, just a model.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is resonsibe for Uri Geller's metal bending powers. After all,mof he hadn't offered Geller that lift in the TURDIS and exposed him to the Uberge Field...

And then there is the Fantastic Four...