True Facts About Chris Rea

[DRM]

Chris Rea recently went back to Massapequa, New York, in 1979, where he bumped into an up & coming Rockabilly Band, he had taken Graeme The Lynx, sorry, Graeme The Maine Coon with him, the 3 band members were amazed to see Graeme strutting around, in his K9 XL harness with Chris holding the lead, they asked Chris all about Graeme, and learned how Chris came to have him as a pet, and that he kept escaping and raiding the neighbours bins, and that the miserable old so & so next door keeps chucking shoes at Graeme ,this lead to the bands song writer & lead guitarist/singer to write a song all about Graeme, Stray Cat Strut became a massive hit for The Band who named themselves The Stray Cats, Chris Rea has a collection of shoes in his house now that Graeme brings home, so Chris Rea has dropped them off at various charity shops around Accrington, in order to avoid giving them back, as he can't stand his neighbour, and thinks that someone will have a use for them.

 

[Drago]

True fact - Chris Rea is president of the Bay City Rollers fan club.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea recently went back to Massapequa, New York, in 1979, where he bumped into an up & coming Rockabilly Band, he had taken Graeme The Lynx, sorry, Graeme The Maine Coon with him, the 3 band members were amazed to see Graeme strutting around, in his K9 XL harness with Chris holding the lead, they asked Chris all about Graeme, and learned how Chris came to have him as a pet, and that he kept escaping and raiding the neighbours bins, and that the miserable old so & so next door keeps chucking shoes at Graeme ,this lead to the bands song writer & lead guitarist/singer to write a song all about Graeme, Stray Cat Strut became a massive hit for The Band who named themselves The Stray Cats, Chris Rea has a collection of shoes in his house now that Graeme brings home, so Chris Rea has dropped them off at various charity shops around Accrington, in order to avoid giving them back, as he can't stand his neighbour, and thinks that someone will have a use for them.

Chris also nicks off with clothing orders ,in his TURDIS, wears them for a day, then drops them of in his time machine, just before they are delivered, this Accrington oik will never twig, so accurate is Chris with the settings, despite rumblings from the Auberge field settings

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea uses the TURDIS to steal Judy Finnigan's underwear from Richard Madeley's washing line.

 

[raleighnut]

Chris Rea uses the TURDIS to steal Judy Finnigan's underwear from Richard Madeley's washing line.

They're not really Judy's you know

 

[Grant Fondo]

..... was the question everyone was asking in 1978! Although police scuba divers spent weeks searching for Benny 'The Hunchback' Santini in the river Tees after a tip-off, no body was found and the case was closed. A gold Rolex belonging to Santini was found at Chris Rea's flat during the investigations, left behind after a mah jong night, according to Rea.

 

[Drago]

View attachment 759117

..... was the question everyone was asking in 1978! Although police scuba divers spent weeks searching for Benny 'The Hunchback' Santini in the river Tees after a tip-off, no body was found and the case was closed. A gold Rolex belonging to Santini was found at Chris Rea's flat during the investigations, left behind after a mah jong night, according to Rea.

Chris Rea won Tom Bakers scarf in a game of strip poker, but not before Baker had won Rea's beard.

 

[DRM]

View attachment 759117

..... was the question everyone was asking in 1978! Although police scuba divers spent weeks searching for Benny 'The Hunchback' Santini in the river Tees after a tip-off, no body was found and the case was closed. A gold Rolex belonging to Santini was found at Chris Rea's flat during the investigations, left behind after a mah jong night, according to Rea.

Police suspect poor old Benny was bundled into the back of the Time Transit, and dumped at the Munich Beer Hall Putsch were he was locked up by the German Police, before being transferred to an asylum for claiming he was innocent and from 1978, the 1978 Cleveland Police were unable to prove their suspicions

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea recently went back to see Burt Bacharach & Hal David, in 1965 as he wanted them to write a huge hit song for him, he took Graeme, the," no he's a Maine Coon, definitely not a Lynx, honest," Cat along for some company, when he met up with the songwriters, Chris kept getting distracted by Graeme finding things, and bringing them to Chris, who kept saying "What's New Pussycat" as each new gift was delivered, Bacharach & David, picked up on this and duly wrote a song, Chris Rea refused point blank to record, in his words, "Utter shoot like that" so they persuaded Tom Jones to sing it, who had a massive hit in the U.S & U.K with "What's New Pussycat" Chris Rea was fuming and to this day loves to fly over South Wales in the Turdis, in a set manner that makes it rain, a lot, Poor Chris, should have just sung the song.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea has a pet Rhea

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea was banned from Antiques Road Show after taking in his collection of Roman carvings to be valued, and somehow exposing Hugh Scully to a near-lethal dose of auberge radiation.

A producer later confirmed the carvings as "top notch pornography, worth suffering a few roentgen".

 

[stephec]

Vyvian's pet hamster, SPG, on The Young Ones, has always been assumed to be a puppet, but I can reveal that it was really Chris Rea in a hamster costume.

 

[Drago]

Tarzan was inspired by Chris Rea, Ron Ely being a hug fan of the bearded songster.

Indeed, the Tarzan on the Love Boat episode was inspired by an incident when Chris Rea crashed the TURDIS into the Bismarck.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Tyneside police were left red faced after the collapse of the multi-million pound "Operation Auberge" aimed at smashing the biggest drug dealing ring in the North East.

A dawn raid on Chris Rea's house netted nothing more suspicious than five containers of Seven Seas Cod Liver Oil Capsules, four of which were past their sell by date.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea and Peter Sutcliffe were regularly mistaken for one another, often with hilarious results.