markemark
Über Member
Sorry just now read the thread and realise just how dull my post was!!
True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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Sorry just now read the thread and realise just how dull my post was!!
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea only has a black ane white tv licence.
- Location
- Inside my skull
Chris Rea once had a no. 1, in 1971. It took 16 weeks to get it out of the charts.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea, ever the perfectionist, ensures each poo is exactly the same length as the previous one.
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Moon bunny
Judging your grammar.
- Location
- Basking in my own brilliance.
The Archbishop of York has abandoned Christianity to follow the one true path to enlightenment, following the teachings of Chris Rea.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea once ate a Walkers crisp that was shaped like the Archbishop of Canterbury.
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Gwylan
Veteran
- Location
- All at sea⛵
Steady on that's a bit too far, he used to be in my phone book.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
It's a little known fact that the silhouetted "woman" dancing on the credits of Tales of the Unexpected is actually a young Chris Rea.
lazybloke
Considering a new username
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
There's a story about how he learned to hover.
After reading Stings autobiography "Broken Music", Rea enthusiastically sought the same psychadelic drugs that Sting had tried in Brazil.
Sting made arrangements for the ceremonial drinking of Ayahuasca in a beautiful and tranquil location surrounded by mother nature: Low tide on Friday night under Skegness pier, near the sewage outfall.
The experience was like flinging open the bi-fold doors of perception, and at the moment of peak intoxication and with the full moon rising, that was when Rea noticed he was bobbing 2 inches in the air; he had learned to hover!
Rea soared over the North Sea but was disappointed he did not catch sight of the famed "Doggerland" nor any of the sexy activities that must surely go on there, so he was overjoyed to be invited to Stings mansion the next month for a tantric kissmekwik and a "Brazilian Jungle experience".
Sadly there was a predictable misunderstanding; Trudie did not appreciate the gift of a ladyshave; Rea is no longer welcome at Chez Sting/Styler.
Rea never found an alternate source of Ayahuasca so he now uses a blend of Brut 33 and Dijon mustard to open his 3rd eye. He says "it smarts a bit, and doesn't achieve the same range nor altitude, but needs must". His search for Doggerland continues.
twentysix by twentyfive
Clinging on tightly
- Location
- Over the Hill
Chris Rea's Y fronts are a terrible sight to behold. There isn't a detergent that'll sort them
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea left his last pair of Y fronts down on the beach and Thames Water got fined over it.
matticus
Guru
Great work everyone!
This is crazy - as I look down the list of Chris Rea "results", i keep thinking "Fact? Or cycleChat true fact?"
This is how the post-truth world develops!
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
I'm wondering who or what we should distort as our next topic?
Cher? David Walliams? Thames Water?
Cher? David Walliams? Thames Water?
But still pure as the driven snow compared to Drago's.
