True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
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- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea once keyed Sid James' Morris Marina during an argument over a parking space.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Microsoft's co-pilot too. It flat out denies that he has a time machine, but grudgingly acknowledges humourous rumours
Edit. I missed out the footnotes
Edit. I missed out the footnotes
Last edited:
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
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- Suburban Poshshire
Brilliant! I wonder if great man himself is aware of these rumours?
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea originally built the TURDIS during woodwork classes at secondary school.
It escaped the attention of teachers as it was disguised as a pencil case.
Once complete he used it to nip back in time to resit the 11+ and get into Grammar school.
It escaped the attention of teachers as it was disguised as a pencil case.
Once complete he used it to nip back in time to resit the 11+ and get into Grammar school.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Copilot would make a great contributor to this thread. This is getting weirdly circular.
Alright, let’s keep the fun going! There’s a story about how Chris Rea allegedly inspired the invention of the GPS. According to the tale, he was so tired of getting lost on the way to his gigs that he invented a time-traveling device to go back and forth in time until he found the perfect routes. Eventually, he shared his navigational secrets, leading to the creation of GPS. Of course, this is just a whimsical story, but it’s amusing to think about!
Legend has it, Chris Rea once stumbled upon a secret chord that could unlock the secrets of the universe. Using his guitar, he played the chord and accidentally opened a portal to a parallel dimension where everything was made of chocolate. He spent a week there, eating chocolate trees and rivers, before realizing that he needed to return to our world to finish his next album. It’s said that he still dreams of that chocolate dimension and secretly embeds clues about it in his songs. Sweet, right?
Alright, let’s keep the fun going! There’s a story about how Chris Rea allegedly inspired the invention of the GPS. According to the tale, he was so tired of getting lost on the way to his gigs that he invented a time-traveling device to go back and forth in time until he found the perfect routes. Eventually, he shared his navigational secrets, leading to the creation of GPS. Of course, this is just a whimsical story, but it’s amusing to think about!
Legend has it, Chris Rea once stumbled upon a secret chord that could unlock the secrets of the universe. Using his guitar, he played the chord and accidentally opened a portal to a parallel dimension where everything was made of chocolate. He spent a week there, eating chocolate trees and rivers, before realizing that he needed to return to our world to finish his next album. It’s said that he still dreams of that chocolate dimension and secretly embeds clues about it in his songs. Sweet, right?
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
From Microsoft Copilot...
There are quite a few amusing and imaginative rumors about Chris Rea's time machine! One popular story suggests that Chris Rea developed a time machine to travel back and prevent an industrial accident that left him infertile1. However, due to the complexities of temporal causality, he ended up traveling forward in time to seek futuristic reconstructive surgery1!
Another fun rumor claims that Chris Rea used his time machine to explore World War II-era USA, and during one of his visits, the USS Philadelphia briefly disappeared due to an entanglement with the Auberge field1. To cover his tracks, he supposedly wrote "The Philadelphia Experiment" under a pen name1.
These stories are all in good fun and part of the lore surrounding Chris Rea's legendary status. Do you have a favorite Chris Rea song?
There are quite a few amusing and imaginative rumors about Chris Rea's time machine! One popular story suggests that Chris Rea developed a time machine to travel back and prevent an industrial accident that left him infertile1. However, due to the complexities of temporal causality, he ended up traveling forward in time to seek futuristic reconstructive surgery1!
Another fun rumor claims that Chris Rea used his time machine to explore World War II-era USA, and during one of his visits, the USS Philadelphia briefly disappeared due to an entanglement with the Auberge field1. To cover his tracks, he supposedly wrote "The Philadelphia Experiment" under a pen name1.
These stories are all in good fun and part of the lore surrounding Chris Rea's legendary status. Do you have a favorite Chris Rea song?
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
But back to True Facts
Chris Rea refuses to play gigs in Scunthorpe because he doesn't want to be associated with a rude word.
Chris Rea refuses to play gigs in Scunthorpe because he doesn't want to be associated with a rude word.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
There is a parking bay at Watford Gap services reserved only for Chris Rea.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea turned up at Watford Gap services and found two motorcyclists weeing in his parking spot. He went and parked somewhere else, because he was afraid that he might lose control and unleash a flurry of deadly blows.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
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- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea owns the only production Hillman Imp with the engine in the front. It was originally intended for French market in order to facilitate an easy retreat, but the price was too expensive for most French peasants.
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Chris Rea took his Time Machine back to 1924 and visited Everest. He wanted to see if Mallory and Irvine made the summit. Unfortunately a back fire blew them off the ridge, and in the confusion that ensued we will never know if they were ascending or descending.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
According to Gemini
No, Chris Rea does not have a time machine called the Turdis.
The Turdis is a fictional time machine from the British science fiction television series "Doctor Who." It's not associated with Chris Rea or his music.
Perhaps you've encountered a misunderstanding or a reference to something else. If you have more context or information, feel free to share it, and I'll do my best to assist you further.
No, Chris Rea does not have a time machine called the Turdis.
The Turdis is a fictional time machine from the British science fiction television series "Doctor Who." It's not associated with Chris Rea or his music.
Perhaps you've encountered a misunderstanding or a reference to something else. If you have more context or information, feel free to share it, and I'll do my best to assist you further.
