Think I am being dumped by text!

[Noodley]

As long as the friendship is a friendship then nothing wrong with staying friends. It's when the 'friendship' has some underlying current of something other than friendship when the problems start.

 

[Baggy]

That's an old get out clause. That generally means they are not really sure they will be happy on their own and they want you on a string in case they change their mind. Call her bluff and tell her it would be best if you never have any contact again, you have nothing to lose as this staying friends business only prolongs the agony anyway.

Sorry to hear about this NT

From a (not too girly) girl's perspective, wanting to stay friends also means I know I have hurt you, I like you, I feel guilty as hell and I'm hoping it might help to say this to you rather than me just disappearing in a puff of smoke.

It depends on the circumstances, but I'd say you're right in that it's easier if you don't stay in contact initially. No reason why you can't be friends at some point in the future though.

 

[Night Train]

Yeah, I know what you mean about that. However, I have stayed good friends with my previous ex and also my ex wife with no strings. They know I am honest and honorable and wouldn't allow any strings.

 

[Noodley]

Just think how hard it's gonna be for any of wee Joe's ex's when they all still love him Mind you, he'd have to manage to be in a relationship to start with

 

[Smokin Joe]

Staying friends only works if the split was by mutual consent. If one party is still carrying a torch then the frindship is unbalanced and awkward and will only end in tears.

 

[Night Train]

I can do the friends thing if there is something to be friends about. It really shows if there was little other then sex and physical attraction left at the end. It doesn't work then as there is nothing else to talk about. We should do ok. As much as I loved her I can't keep the feelings going if it isn't mutual. The split is pretty mutual the way it worked out and we are still joking around at the moment with no hard feelings.

 

[Willow]

Staying friends only works if the split was by mutual consent. If one party is still carrying a torch then the frindship is unbalanced and awkward and will only end in tears.

I still carry a torch

 

[Baggy]

Staying friends only works if the split was by mutual consent. If one party is still carrying a torch then the frindship is unbalanced and awkward and will only end in tears.

Mutual consent - or giving yourself enough time to put the torch out!
My first proper boyfriend dumped me (very much against my will!) when I was 20. We had a couple of years where we steered clear of each other, bumped into one another, agreed there had been a lot of water under the bridge and then went on to become great friends.

There have been times when the friendship has been invaluable to both, ironically often when we've both had relationship woes - we both know a side of each other that other friends don't.

 

[Noodley]

The split is pretty mutual the way it worked out and we are still joking around at the moment with no hard feelings.

So, anyone on the course worth becoming friendly with?

Get your dancing pants on!

 

[Night Train]

I still carry a torch

I still carry a maglite that an ex gave me for Christmas some 10 years ago.
Didn't seem sensible to get rid of it just cos.

 

[Night Train]

So, anyone on the course worth becoming friendly with?

Friendly yes, lots. But as I said, I will be celibate now so no looking for otherwise.

 

[Night Train]

There have been times when the friendship has been invaluable to both, ironically often when we've both had relationship woes - we both know a side of each other that other friends don't.

My ex wife and I are like that. We know each other too well to be able to give a false side to the story so we can be brutally honest.

 

[Joe24]

Just think how hard it's gonna be for any of wee Joe's ex's when they all still love him Mind you, he'd have to manage to be in a relationship to start with

Kovu still loves me

 

[Sh4rkyBloke]

Sorry to hear things didn't work out, NT. As you say, keeping busy (sounds like you don't have much choice in that!!!) will help, but then it only seems to make the moments when you are able to relax more painful.

 

[Noodley]

Is it time for a festive Unicorn, Noodley?

Very prematurely festive, well done.