Think I am being dumped by text!

[Night Train]

Frickin' hell!

Sure it's not her mobile you're in love with? Have you tried talking face-to-face?

Were in a longish distance relationship and sowe only get to see each other a couple or so times a week. One of the things she says she likes about me is that we talk really easily. We only end up texting because of the distance.

I don't want it to end as it is the sort of relationship that should have potential to be really good, but I will if it comes to it. I'm too old to play games.

 

[Arch]

Bloody hell, the heavens seem set against relationships at the moment!

I hope it works out, NT, but even if not, I hope you get a proper closure. At least I was dumped face to face. Not that it feels better at the time, but hiding behind texts isn't great. I guess she might be trying to take an easy way out, which I can understand, but it's not a nice thing to do.

Here's a thing. Yonks ago, I was going out with a lad, and TBH it wasn't great and I was really sticking with him because I was afraid of being alone otherwise, and didn't have the courage to end it. He tended to be jealous and when I went away for a weekend WITH MY MUM, he got a fit of the sulks and delivered a letter to the house saying he wanted to end it. I was so relieved he'd done it. He rang the next day to say he thought he'd made a mistake, and I said "No, you haven't!". Funnily enough, the same weekend an ex rang out of the blue to see how I was, and we arranged to meet up, so I got dumped and picked up in the same week. (although it didn't last) I don't know if any of that is relevant, or what point I'm trying to make, but you're welcome to take heart from my useless love life if it helps...

 

[Night Train]

Yep, the problem is more one of wanting to know, face to face, one way or the other. She siad she may want to talk today rather then yesterday so I arranged to call and just text to ask her when would be a good time for her, with kids bed times and so on. She said she doesn't feel like talking and doesn't know what to say!

I might just as well arrange a visit with her things, collect mine and tell her its over if it isn't anything else.

 

[tdr1nka]

Well if it's any consolation, I've just had to break off a 2 year cohabiting relationship this was down to my partner deciding she couldn't live in London while I am very much having to stay put to parent Miss tdr1nka.

We might have had a chance to salvage things but with our previously long term plans in disarray and short term plans killed off I felt she no concrete plans and I was being left dangling until she decides what she wants from life.

It was a difficult decision but I just couldn't cope with not knowing what was going on.

Chin up NT and on to pastures new my friend.

 

[Night Train]

If it is over then I am going back to plan A: Work, bike, theatre and celibacy.

 

[buggi]

naa you don't want celibacy. the quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone else!

time for the reverse psychology plan then. go with Heartattacks advice of telling her she's dumped. this will then do one of either two things. it will shock her into phoning you, or it will bring a quicker end to a relationship that was going to end anyway, but at least you will feel better coz you were in control.

 

[HelenD123]

Looks like there's something in the air round here are the moment. Hope you get a resolution soon NT.

 

[Night Train]

Celibacy works for me long term, last time 3+ years. I've had more then my fair share of sex since my teens then I needed or wanted for a life time. Could do without it.

Having long drawn out text conversation as she still won't talk to me. Probably going to have to end it in a bit, I guess, as she isn't committing one way or the other.

 

[wafflycat]

Well, all I can say is that if the ladies don't appreciate the finer points of the males of CC, then more fool them!

 

[Night Train]

OK, ended it. Very sad now.

Turns out much hinged on stuff right at begining of relationship that I thought we had worked out and understood. It appears not. Guess it is best to lie about baggage but I did also tell her that part of my aspergers means that I don't lie and often tell what is asked of me.

Now she wants to stay friends!

 

[Noodley]

Chin up NT. It'll work out for you.

 

[Night Train]

Yeah, I know.
Is it time for a festive Unicorn, Noodley?

 

[Noodley]

I'd say a hat on the horn would be perfect!

 

[Smokin Joe]

OK, ended it. Very sad now.

Turns out much hinged on stuff right at begining of relationship that I thought we had worked out and understood. It appears not. Guess it is best to lie about baggage but I did also tell her that part of my aspergers means that I don't lie and often tell what is asked of me.

Now she wants to stay friends!

That's an old get out clause. That generally means they are not really sure they will be happy on their own and they want you on a string in case they change their mind. Call her bluff and tell her it would be best if you never have any contact again, you have nothing to lose as this staying friends business only prolongs the agony anyway.

 

[Kovu]

That's an old get out clause. That generally means they are not really sure they will be happy on their own and they want you on a string in case they change their mind. Call her bluff and tell her it would be best if you never have any contact again, you have nothing to lose as this staying friends business only prolongs the agony anyway.

Yeah. Smokin Joe's right, I did the friends thing once and it killed me. Now I refuse that line.