Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Mad Doug Biker]

Instead of fannying about, fast forwarding through everything you don't want to see, just let me watch the bloody thing!

There is nothing worse than an eejit with a remote control, eh?

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Now you are talking about me, this time

FFS!! Has something just crawled up your arse and died?
Seriously, DON'T shut the window I opened it for a REASON, were you born on a farm or something!?
Look at me! I'm gasping for air here! Look! The wallpaper is starting to change colour and peel off!!

Have you ever thought about trying to bottle that smell and sell it as a chemical weapon? Seriously!!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Of FFS! Now you seem to find it utterly hillarious! Didn't you ever learn to act better than a farm animal when you were a kid?

 

[Lullabelle]

Doug, I'd like to say a few calming words................Valium, Librium, diazepam




(thanks to Kenny Everett)

Do I get an invite to your next party

 

[Maverick Goose]

FFS!! Has something just crawled up your arse and died?
Seriously, DON'T shut the window I opened it for a REASON, were you born on a farm or something!?
Look at me! I'm gasping for air here! Look! The wallpaper is starting to change colour and peel off!!

Have you ever thought about trying to bottle that smell and sell it as a chemical weapon? Seriously!!

I share your pain-I used to work with a guy who was even worse AND had minging BO AND Moobs that would put to shame every Nuts/Zoo/FHM cover girl you can think of.

 

[hopless500]

When you decided to implement the new (untried) accounts procedures in May, and I tried to ask questions about how this would run, you told me to shut up and get on with it. The person who wanted these changes made, and got you to agree to it, admitted he has no idea how to make it work as he's never done it and is winging it. Now you are complaining that it doesn't work. You know what, I would just like to say, "TOLD YOU SO".

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

I can't believe you're getting up at 7 am to remove recycling from a recycling bin and dump it on our doorstep. If owning a bin is so important to you then please carry on. We've got a life.

 

[alicat]

Dear new neighbour

When you block my car in for the best part of 24 hours and don't leave a note, just to save yourself a short walk, don't start bleating that I over-reacted when my detective work pays off.

Go back and live where you came from - your old village is missing its idiot.

 

[EltonFrog]

Your child is not a bit boisterous, he is a ill-mannered insolent brat, and it's because you are a fundamentally useless adult. I'm suprised you even had the intelligence to breed.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

FFS Get a divorce!!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Calm down, CALM DOWN and get a grip, FFS!

 

[ColinJ]

Calm down, CALM DOWN and get a grip, FFS!

Are you not saying that to Nigel, or not saying it to someone else? (Or can't you say! )

 

[Lanzecki]

No, your daughter is not a great footballer. She's either got no bodily control or she's actually vicious. She got a yellow card in the first 10 mins. In a under 12's friendly. Kinda says it all huh?

Yes I know the other kids cannot get near her. No wait, it's cos they don't want end up on the floor.

 

[Sandra6]

I'd like to tell the gym how peed off I am that they've taken another payment out of my account this month, but I can't because their phone is currently switched off!

 

[neil earley]

Dear Solicitors
Thank you for dragging my ind/injury claim for the last 6 years running up a legal bill of tens of thousands of pounds costs on both sides. As this has made my life a bit stressfull and just a little matter of losing my job, house marriage and a way of life oops nearly forgot 8 0ps in all and condemned to try and manage pain control every day. Nevermind when you sleep at night you can spare a thought for your clients who trust in you expertise trying to get by the best they can!! Have a nice day!