Things you'd like to say, but can't

[green1]

2 farking years I've been working on that new assembly that in your own words is more robust, has built in redundancy and can operate in conditions the old can't. And you want to order the old one because its 5k cheaper despite the fact it doesn't 'kin work?

 

[bruce1530]

I don’t know which planet you come from, but it certainly isn’t "planet practical".

 

[GrumpyGregry]

"Do you actually employ failed GCSE Computer Studies pupils to write your code? "

"No I'm not in the least surprised it fell on its 'arris less than an hour after it went live. No it isn't my feckin' infrastructure it's your feckin' code. Do some proper triage instead of shouting at people and let me know. It's Wednesday night I've already worked 47 hours this week. I'm off to the pub."

What I actually said was "I've got a thing, if it's the infra, log a ticket."

It wasn't the infra. It was the code. It's always the misconceived, badly written, poorly-tested code.

 

[Speicher]

No licence, no insurance, and driving under the influence of alcohol, not to mention leaving the scene of a major accident.
Please throw the book at them, but make sure it is a very large and heavy book, and that your aim is accurate.

 

[potsy]

You willy waving nobber

 

[pplpilot]

"You complete and utter ignoramus"

https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2017/10/26/amanda-holden-asking-tim-peak-bring-anything-back-moon/

 

[Ratchet Cat]

What do you mean, YOU'RE TIRED?!!!
You came in at 9am. I've been working since 6. Yes I know it's a long day I don't need reminding of it.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Which bit of "We are all stood down for the weekend" do you not understand (you hero complex suffering knob jockey feckwit workaholic ARSE OWL)?

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Ok Sage. All I want to do is install the latest version. I don't want to restart my server as no other software install has ever required it. I don't need the installer to fail after the reboot. I don't want the installer to go into 'repair the data service' mode when I run the installer again.
For farks sake just install the farking program. How difficult is it?

Edit: Now it wants another restart.

Edit#2: Now it can't close something down, so it may need another restart.

Are we trying to reinstall NORAD here??

Pretty amazing considering there's so many third party considerations the sodding thing has only had cosmetic only changes in 20+ years.

 

[Vantage]

I'm sure the other 3 guys on this ward room are sick of your stupidly loud croaky voice and spitting and coughing too. FFS SHADDAP!!!!!

 

[classic33]

I'm sure the other 3 guys on this ward room are sick of your stupidly loud croaky voice and spitting and coughing too. FFS SHADDAP!!!!!

Sorry!!

 

[marinyork]

It had to be ordered in specially, we can't take that loss, it can't be sent back and no one else here can use it. It's going to cost the NHS around £120.

 

[Deafie]

So if you feel it is taking too long why don't you take a few hours out of your day to shut the feck up and let me do some work!

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

First frost of the year. The Porsche Cayennes will be off to tesco this morning.

 

[TVC]

If you want to tell a story about an incident on two different parts of the internet, at least make it the same story, because somebody might notice and share it around for everybody to laugh.