Things you'd like to say, but can't

[NorthernDave]

Well done on joining a gym. How is the hour or so a week you spend there doing fighting the effects of having a takeaway tea three nights a week, and a McBreakfast most weekday mornings?

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

How do you deal with someone that has no concept of personal property?
Everything on this earth is his to use and consume, yet the greatest crime is to touch anything of his.
Even the money in your pocket should be handed over. No demand should be refused.
Anything he touches gets broken with no thought of replacement.
Can he be 'trained' or is this hopeless?

 

[derrick]

How do you deal with someone that has no concept of personal property?
Everything on this earth is his to use and consume, yet the greatest crime is to touch anything of his.
Even the money in your pocket should be handed over. No demand should be refused.
Anything he touches gets broken with no thought of replacement.
Can he be 'trained' or is this hopeless?

A good kicking would do the trick.

 

[derrick]

Don't call me when you now i am on the bike, how many times do you need to be told, FFS.

 

[ColinJ]

Don't call me when you now i am on the bike, how many times do you need to be told, FFS.

Turn the phone off when you are on the bike?

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

A good kicking would do the trick.

22 years old, 6 foot 5, 20+ stone, night club doorman
So psychology is probably a better option

 

[raleighnut]

22 years old, 6 foot 5, 20+ stone, night club doorman
So psychology is probably a better option

Sneak up behind him ?

 

[classic33]

Sneak up behind him ?

Tap behind his knees?

 

[hopless500]

When I parked up this morning, I gave myself plenty of door-opening space within the parking space. Thank you so much for parking on top of me - just how the f*** am I supposed to get into my car. I haven't yet learnt to dissaparate

 

[Speicher]

There's no danger of you getting any work done this afternoon then?

You could at least not talk so loudly that you can be heard 100 yards away. Your "colleagues" seem to be able to work quietly without talking all the time, and when they do talk, it is not at full (aka Drill Sergeant) level.

You must drive them round the bend!

 

[Salad Dodger]

For goodness sake, gaffer tape that child to a chair, to stop him whirling round reception like a dervish. And at the same time, gaffer tape his gob shut, so we wouldn't have to listen to the nonsense he keeps spouting.
Maybe the dentist will anaesthetise him, and give us all a few minutes peace and quiet...........

 

[TheDoctor]

22 years old, 6 foot 5, 20+ stone, night club doorman
So psychology is probably a better option

I once worked with someone who knew someone who would kneecap people for £150.
Just sayin'

 

[Saluki]

How do you deal with someone that has no concept of personal property?
Everything on this earth is his to use and consume, yet the greatest crime is to touch anything of his.
Even the money in your pocket should be handed over. No demand should be refused.
Anything he touches gets broken with no thought of replacement.
Can he be 'trained' or is this hopeless?

Who is this person that demands your money and trashes your stuff? A work person or someone in your family?
I would be telling anyone who expected me to give them money to solve that idea far up their chocolate whizzway, however bloody big they are. Then again, I am a bit of a cow like that

 

[NorthernDave]

Don't call me when you now i am on the bike, how many times do you need to be told, FFS.

If I'm out on the bike and the phone rings it gets ignored until I'm somewhere I can safely check it at a time that suits me (it's set to go to voicemail after 30 seconds). The only exception is that in case of dire emergency Mrs ND knows to just keep ringing and I'll stop as soon as I can and take the call.
So you can imagine what was going through my mind when my phone started ringing repeatedly during a bike ride a while back....and what was going through my mind after screeching to a halt on a nice flowing downhill stretch and getting off the road when some Herbert from an opticians that I haven't been to for FIVE YEARS started prattling on about how I was due an eye test....

 

[EltonFrog]

Theresa May " enough is enough ".

Well no shoot Sherlock! Enough was enough years ago you stupid woman.